The question has often been asked to me: “For what reason (s) have I written such a book?” Well, it’s simple, because it fills the real gaps!
To fully understand this, we have to go back to the beginning. I didn’t always want to be a father or, rather, it was a subject I had given little thought to before, preferring to devote my time to a more selfish enjoyment of life. Then, I met my wife and the desire for a child quickly became imperative, imperative even, fundamental! Starting a family was obvious, as with the majority of couples I imagine. But, in our case, the evidence stopped there!
It was medically complicated, if not impossible, to procreate naturally, and we had to get to know the world of IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). It is with as much enthusiasm as naivety that we immersed ourselves in it, confident in the technique and in its promising results. The reality has been a little more complex than that, between the many failed attempts that undermine confidence and the difficulty for me to find my place in a medical protocol primarily centered around the woman. While my wife communicated naturally and even forged relationships with both the medical world (in the lab or with private nurses) and other patients, I stayed away. I was solicited for nothing other than to carry out my “withdrawal” when the time was right.
In my opinion, two main reasons for this: the first is that indeed the man has only a secondary role in the medical sense, even if it is an essential role, and the second is perhaps due to the masculine nature. . While this is totally non-existent in the women I have met who are following an IVF protocol, there is a real feeling of guilt, almost shame I think in their companions. A feeling which results in an almost total absence of communication between them! We go down to a basement to do what we have to do in our test tube and, going back up, we meet the next one, lowering our head and carefully avoiding meeting his gaze. This feeling of isolation which, in me, developed to a certain loneliness demanded compensation. Since I could not speak with anyone about this feeling, except my companion naturally but without her immediately understanding it to its true extent, I then felt the need to write it down. This is the first lack that my book, “IVF à papa” filled: the need to talk about what was happening to me!
The second lack that it fills is the absence of an equivalent in our libraries. If there is a plethora of books on IVF written by doctors, so in a medical tone, and even more testimonials written by patients, so in a feminine tone, then there was absolutely no written by a doctor. man! And I think that, given the vacuum created by the lack of communication among the latter, the absence of available testimonies is all the more damaging. I myself looked for such a book and never found it. So I decided to write it and, on top of that, it did me a lot of good.
Thus, two “babies” were born from this adventure: an adorable 9-year-old boy who brings us the happiness that I imagined on a daily basis, and a book that is at the same time unique, funny and moving, and it is not me saying it!
Today, I would like each of them to have a little brother or sister! We are working on it for our son, for my book it is the success or not of this first part that will be decisive.
Also on The HuffPost:
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With “IVF à papa”, my testimony has become a remedy for me and I hope for other men
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