Who do your body insecurity problems benefit? – Homoectile

Showing some kind of insecurity regarding one’s own body image has become the most normal thing in the world, which, in case someone wants to know our opinion, is not that it speaks very well of the world.

Until the 20th century, for example, cellulite, little more than a secondary sexual characteristic such as breasts, was part of the ideal of beauty and no one had a problem with it. And there are all those classic paintings of ruddy women to prove it. But suddenly one day, as the author said Germaine Greer: “Once upon a time there was a world where men and women admired some dimpled fat. It took the marketing of the twentieth century to turn it into something disgusting. “

To regain control of your body image, it is important to realize that the shame you feel is not yours. It has been implanted by the society in which you live

Because cellulite is not, far from it, a disease, nor something that needs to be diagnosed, and it lacked negative connotations until 1933, when the French beauty magazine Votre Beauté declared in an article that cellulite was “an accumulation of water , toxins, waste and fat that is very difficult to fight ”, when in reality it is nothing more than the perfectly normal accumulation of fat under the skin, which causes the skin to pull in one direction while the fibrous connective cords, which fix the skin to the muscle, they pull in the opposite direction, causing their characteristic dimples.

Of course, the cosmetics industry did not want to miss the opportunity to get gold at the cost of nothing and filled the shelves with thousands of products to end this terrifying scourge. For many women, having cellulite is today a curse to be ashamed of and that must be hidden because society rarely forgives her.

Today’s world, more aware of the image than ever, does not cease in its effort to put pressure on our self-concept, and that pressure has only increased with the hyper digitization of our personal image through social networks and cameras. our phones, increasingly cruel than intelligent. That pressure is making us all, from first to last, more slaves to our personal appearance than our ancestors ever were.

Our exposure to the media, including pornography, can distort our view of what is or is considered “normal”, and as clinical psychologist Daniel Sher bluntly asserts: “To regain control of your body image It is important that you realize that the shame you feel is not yours. It has been implanted by the society in which you live. The idea that certain body types are ‘normal’ is a myth. It is not that you are not normal, it is that you are unique. We all are ”.

And if what worries you is the size of your penis, because it seems to you or someone has led you to believe that it is too small, too big or that it is not entirely normal, the first thing you should know is that you are not alone. Although these beliefs are making intimacy difficult or uncomfortable for you, or causing low self-esteem, there is nothing strange about what is happening to you and, hey, it may not even be happening to you in reality.

Penises, like shoes, come in all shapes and sizes, and most men who think their penis is small are actually within the statistical median for size, about 13cm in erection. And in case it has not been clear to you, there is no ideal penis size, since vaginas also come in all shapes and sizes.

According to Dr. Linda Baggett, a sex and body image psychologist, it’s important to remember when it comes to penis size that size really depends on how you use it. “If your penis is really small, there are still many ways to give and receive pleasure, with or without it.” Non-penetrative sex and other non-phallus-centered activities are as valid options as any other that can also help you overcome your insecurities by showing yourself that you are capable of being part of the game, and of returning joy and happiness. that the bedroom is capable of giving you. Do not stay with your arms crossed and put your imagination, your tongue, your hands to the test.

And if the opposite happens to you, and your penis is too big for your partner, you will have to find a way to accommodate it, with different postures, depths of penetration and degrees of control.

Regardless of your size, look at the things you do well and the positive reactions of your partner when you have sex. Pay attention to their body language if they are not directly having an honest and open dialogue about it; There is no better way to know the value of your contributions to your affective relationships.

If intimacy has become difficult for you because you do not stop having doubts about yourself, the most important thing would be that you make an effort to build or repair that channel of communication. As couples therapist Dana McNeil suggests: “It’s okay to share with your partner from time to time if you feel insecure about any part of your body and ask them to remind you or reaffirm what they find attractive about you. It is also okay to check with your partner what they enjoy or appreciate about their intimate connection to reinforce their confidence in what they are doing well in that department. “

Dr. Sher is the first to recognize that body image problems can negatively influence sexual life: “Feelings of insecurity with some physical aspect of our body often lead to anxiety about sexual performance, which can manifest itself in the form of premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or, in the case of women, in the reduction of vaginal lubrication ”.

There is no doubt that the bedroom is the place where one feels most vulnerable when working on body image issues, and precisely for this reason, it is not convenient to pretend nothing is wrong. If we have a problem with one or all of the parts of our body, we have to face it head-on. As Dr. McNeil advises: “Take those negative thoughts and reframe them using accepting, less aggressive language.” And not only that, you can resort to meditation techniques, such as mindfulness, “to focus on the task at hand and keep your mind away from negative thoughts.”

Be brave, there is no point in putting life aside for body image issues that may benefit the beauty industry, but probably don’t concern anyone but you.

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Who do your body insecurity problems benefit? – Homoectile

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