What happens when you meet your ex

Today we talk about the moment that is meet up with your ex. A few weeks ago poor Chenoa experienced it. We saw it, we reviewed it, we commented on it and Spain was divided between those who saw a cobra and those who did not. A country glued to a screen in which two people who had been in a relationship for 15 years met again.

Morbidity in its pure state. But also empathybecause who else and who least has ever been in that situation: that of meet you again ex (with horror music).

It generates all kinds of emotions, and these tend to depend on what happened after the breakup: if you ended up well, you will most likely feel affection. Confusing feelings may appear, but they usually go away quickly. But if you suffered during and after the breakup, or you have not managed to rebuild your love life, your demons and doubts can take over you.

Let’s discuss the four things your head can do after meeting your ex again, and how to manage those emotions. Here we go:

1. You self-assess your “I” now

Seeing the person with whom you shared your life for a while makes us rethink our current state. Questions like “Am I better off than then?”, “Have I fallen in love again?” or “Am I over the breakup?”, they assault us.

If the answers are positive, it gives us a boost of self-esteem. We self-reinforce and tell ourselves: olé yo.

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The problem comes when the answers don’t reinforce us as much (answers like “I’m not happier now” or “I haven’t fallen in love like that again”). Then we fall apart, we become tiny and we want to get out of there in a rocket heading to a very distant place.

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All this must be raised to the nth degree if on top of that your ex has remade his life and is with a hottie. So, turn off and let’s go.

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Solution: This is when you have to do an exercise of relativize. Your life has continued and you have been doing the best you could. You have been able to get out of that relationship and fend for yourself. Give yourself a break, value how strong you have been or the desire you have had to be well. In short, don’t be so hard on yourself, and acknowledge the things you’ve done well. Pamper yourself a little, you deserve it.

And if that happiness hasn’t fully arrived yet, don’t worry: it’s probably waiting just around the corner. It’s just a matter of working on it even harder. Each person accepts, assimilates and adapts situations differently. PYou may need more time than your ex, but comparing yourself to him/her can only hurt you. And comparing you to her new relationship is even more unnecessary.

2. You relive feelings for your ex

It usually happens that when you see that person with whom you shared so much, something is stirred inside you. And it’s normal. But you have to know that it is nothing more than your head playing tricks on you. She has put on remember only the good, forgetting the bad. And this makes you have an idealized memory of the relationship, which is causing you an “I don’t know what” that generates doubts. But don’t worry, the safest thing is that they are just that: doubts.

Solution: The best in these cases is stop and reflect What were the reasons for the breakup? What things led you to end the relationship and how did they make you feel. This will help us relativize and be more objective when assessing and giving truth to those feelings that have resurfaced in us.

3. If you haven’t remade your sentimental life, you fall apart

In this case, get ready because surely your head is going to mess with you. Because the mind always remembers the last person we loved. Until another person appears, he has it there for reference. That is, if you think of “love” or “relationship”, you will go to him/her, no matter how many years have passed.

Reunite with your ex, makes the feelings come out again with more force because we have nothing to compare with. So even though we are no longer in love with our ex, not having had anyone else or anyone so important, we have doubts. “what if it was him/her?” or “I didn’t fight hard enough for the relationship.” This is normal and I would even say unavoidable. But don’t forget that your head is only remembering the good (none of the bad), and you are idealizing that relationship.

If on top of that your ex has remade his life, you can invade a feeling of failure. And if, in addition, the happy reunion does not catch you in a very happy moment, the pain will attack you (even) with more force. In a state of vulnerability, we tend to idealize past good times in an even less objective way.

I’m not going to lie to you. Managing all those feelings is not easy. But you can do it, because they are born from your insecurities and fears, not from objective realities.

Solution: First, let it rest. Do not throw yourself on the mobile to write “I still love you”, because it may -it is very likely- that it is not so. Do like Chenoa, take some time to reflect and be aware of the reason why you return to him/her when you think of love, or relationships.

reconnect with an ex

Tweet he wrote the day after OT – The Reunion

Reconnecting with your ex can be a positive thing

Again, it helps if you make a objective balance of the relationship and your current situation. As before, think about your relationship objectively: what led you to break it up, what things were missing that you wanted to look for outside, what have you improved on. Try to remember, be as objective as you can, and the doubts will disappear.

And finally: I recommend that you take a pencil and paper, and start write down all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Once this is done, respond to those thoughts in a way objective and realistic. Don’t get carried away by how you feel, and she answers what you would say to a friend if she brought up that negative thought with you. She will help you relativize and see things in a less harmful way.

And try not to think too much. The more you try to get a broken relationship out of your head, the more easily it returns to your thoughts.

4. If “you’re super happy, you’re super happy”, you’re going to come out on top (and you’re doing well)

So enjoy reuniting with your ex and receive the memories fondly that your head revives. There is nothing better than closing a stage and being able to see it from a distance with some satisfaction.

But beware: sometimes we feel the need to rub our ex how happy we are now. Honestly, it is not necessary. If you are well and happy, ole for you. Surely it will be noticed from the outside and it is not necessary to let it be known from the rooftops. (or to the wind of your ex). Your attitude speaks for you.

ex-partner breakup

Yes Bisbal, I speak for you: uploading this photo rubbing your love for your girlfriend the day after the reunion with Chenoa, it’s not pretty.

Solution: There is nothing to solve here, except that you look back and see what things failed your previous relationship, so as not to repeat the same mistakes of the past. Oh, and do a mental reconstruction of how well you’ve done during all this time, because stopping to say good things to yourself never hurts.

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«Ole you, handsome, long live, hurray, artist, pivonazo»

*let’s get comfortable And let’s keep in mind that when our ex shows up, our hearts always skip a beat. If it’s for love, enjoy getting over that breakup and be proud of yourself. If fears, sadness and doubts assail you, wait a few days. He relativizes, reflects and tries to see from the outside those reasons why it did not work. This will help you return to the tranquility, serenity and security that this relationship could not be. What you are feeling is part of the past.

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What happens when you meet your ex

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