Arancha, our collaborator and sexologist, recommends that we take advantage of these holidays to rekindle our desire but also advises us not to set the bar too high. Setting high expectations for ourselves can lead to disappointment, so let’s love each other and take advantage of the circumstances that arise. Do not leave without reading the post that our expert brings us homework!
SThe glorious date is approaching when, at last, you are going to take a vacation. The children are in the urban camp and this weekend, you pack your bags and go. You dream of long naps, infinite wandering, strolls at sunset by the hand of the good father / Malamadre2… Hey, wait! And everything you were planning to do this summer? Suddenly you remember your “to do list for when you really have time”: doing sports, reading one of the books that have been recommended to you in the last 5 years, spending quality time with children, giving you a massage (to be possible full body and two hours), go to the movies / have dinner with your partner, have nights of “bohemian and passion” …
Buf, it almost makes you want to not take a vacation … well, no. Holidays are sacred, but… you have more obligations than in winter!
The visible and especially invisible tasks that fall on a Malamadre are many, to the point that we leave ourselves for the last one on the priority list. Who hasn’t shaved in a hurry hidden in the bathroom while the rest of the family applied the sun cream with their swimsuit on to go down to the beach or the pool? Who has not painted only the three nails that the sandal shows on each foot just before leaving the house? And it adds up and goes on. So we are leaving things, which surely we want, and a lot, for when we have more “free” time. And, if there is a season in which all time is assumed to be “free”, those are the holidays.
And here you are, thinking what are you going to put in your suitcases and almost hyperventilating because at the rate you go between the running clothes, the babydoll, that educational game that you have not been able to open yet and the rest of the things, the trunk of the Piquer it’s going to look like a carry-on bag compared to your luggage. And, of course, you can already visualize the face of the good father / Malamadre2 when he sees all the packages on the door of the house: “but have you thought that we have a tractor with a trailer? We are only leaving for two weeks! ” What he does not know is that in those suitcases everything that the family needs to spend those 15 days of vacation and your desire to do all that you have been putting off is packed.
Setting the bar too high is synonymous with pressure
So the vacation starts with the bar of expectations high, very high, stratospheric. And, if in all areas setting the bar very high is synonymous with pressure, in the area of the couple it is synonymous with pressure that can end in disappointment, anger and difficulties.
We often attribute our lack of desire to the fatigue and stress of the day to day and we think that when those elements disappear, the desire will return, like a wave (of the great ones). But desire has its own rules and also, in the cases of the couple it is conjugated in the plural: We desire, l @ s dos. And, if we start what is supposed to be a season of relaxation, rest and enjoyment with the “longing to live” to take advantage of the time, things get ugly, it can even get very ugly.
Let’s be realistic. Summers are not what they used to be, they are no longer two long months of vacation with the only concern of riding a bike, going to the pool as much as possible and getting another ice cream when you bought one at the kiosk. In our role as bad mothers, we will have to chase the good @ shij @ s sun cream in hand, make sure they do not eat too many ice creams and, as far as possible, rest. If we also spend part of the holidays with the good @ sabuel @ s and / or the good @ stí @ s, we will also have to put our bullfighting waist and our diplomacy skills to the test (if this is your case, I will leave you some tips here)
If in between we can dedicate a little extra time to the couple, welcome, but, let’s not think about nights of passion, if we are sharing a hotel room with two good shij @ s sleeping in the next bed; or on weekend getaways, if we don’t have a good sabuel or a good they can stay with the kids. Let’s lower our expectations to the reality we have. Let’s think about moments of enjoyment as a couple that perhaps are not usual in the rush of day to day: seeing the good shij @ s grow up, enjoying their day-to-day achievements is a way of feeling that we are in the Same boat and we row in the same direction and that stress from day to day is worth it.
And you Malasmadres, how are you looking forward to this summer? Do you set the bar very high? We wait for you in the comments.
Before we go …
Tiredness and stress take their toll on mothers and fathers
On the desire and sexual desire after becoming parents we discussed last week on Facebook following a report that became the most read news of that week.
We wish to give thanks to the author of this article for this outstanding content
The summer of the Malasmadres – Club de Malasmadres
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