There really is an absolutely essential criterion when it comes to sexuality. Whether it’s to solve a problem that is ruining your life and putting your couple in danger, such as an erection or libido problem, or whether it’s to develop your sexual pleasure, for example. This notion is found at every stage of your sex life but is completely unknown.
Why is this essential notion unknown?
Well the reason is very simple, it comes up against a sexual taboo, a received idea that sexuality is “natural”. In the collective imagination, our sexual abilities fall on us as if by magic, according to a sort of mysterious and all-powerful chance.
The received idea, the belief that will bother you the most in your sexuality
- “I am a premature ejaculator? Bad luck, I was born bad for sex! »
- “I have zero libido? Probably because I’m not cut out for that! »
- “Every time I have a new girlfriend I don’t get an erection, it’s because I respect them too much! »
This belief is incredibly troublesome for three reasons:
- The fact of believing that sexuality is “natural” disempowers us. This belief tells us that we are not responsible for our sexual difficulties and therefore does not push us at all to act but rather to complain.
- Even if by will we want to do something to improve our sexuality, this received idea tells us that it is not even worth trying because we have no control over events since sexuality is supposedly “natural”. “.
- If ever, despite everything, you take the bull by the horns and decide to follow the advice of a good professional 😉, at the slightest difficulty that you will encounter (because yes you will encounter some!), you risk giving up because some something that is “natural” is necessarily easy to do. So if something new and therefore not at all “natural” comes your way, there is no reason to do it because sexuality is “natural”.
Allow me now and with your help to destroy once and for all this belief:
Sex ‘isn’t natural’
And it is even the opposite! This is where the secret to great sex lies. It is to understand that:
And yes! Sexuality is the exact result of all our past sexual experiences. We are the sexual beings constructed from our happy adventures, from our disappointments, from our shame, from what we think of our sexual abilities, from that image which once turned us on and which recurs in all our fantasies, from education sex that we have received, etc. In short, the sum of our pleasant and unpleasant sexual experiences.
So obviously it’s partly a pity that it works this way because if you accumulate enough negative experiences there is a strong risk of having sexual problems.
But this is first and foremost excellent news!
Because yes if sexuality is an apprenticeship, it means that we can always correct the situation and this at any age. It is enough for that to learn the good practices and the good concepts of sexuality.
Share this article! So that everyone knows this secret.. Well.. so it won’t be a secret anymore 😉
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The secret of a sexuality at the top – Le Blog Sexologue
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