The BEFORE being completely naked

Where is the scenario in all of this?

Error number ONE in a couple: stop creating sexual scenarios. But what is this, a sexual scenario? And what does it eat in winter? In other words, it is about the seduction and the effort… yes yes, the EFFORT that you are going to put in your sexuality and in your relationship. It is always said that nothing is free in life and well, neither is sex. You have to deserve it and appropriate sexuality in your relationship. If the effort you put in to have sex in your relationship is to introduce yourself to your partner by saying that you want sex, the chances are pretty slim that the other has exactly the same level of sexual desire at this time. And this, even if you had a great day together!

If the voltage SEXUAL between you was not aroused by either of you, how can you wish for a sexual relationship? Notice how I have underlined, capitalized and bolded the word “sexual”. I am not talking here about showing love for the other, which is admittedly an important ingredient of sexual desire for some. However, you have to sexualize the atmosphere between you and your loved one. Seduction is a game we have fun with! An element that often comes to us more automatically at the start of a relationship and that we forget over time in a relationship.

Love vs sex

If you watch, touch, and say sweet, tender words to your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’re going to tend to elicit the feeling of love, but probably less of the exciting and wanting part of the other. I’m not saying to stop showing affection, but give a “vibe”Sexual through her seductive approach. You have to perceive yourself as desirable and demonstrate your desire towards the other as well. Ester Perel said that seduction is a game of hide and seek for adults. In turn, each one will seek the other by gestures, words, looks, touches, a walk over a prolonged period which gives off sex.

It is obviously necessary have a good time when we do it in our relationship. If the first reaction is to run away from an approach from your partner, there may be other issues to explore and think about on your own or by couple therapy.

Is porn to blame for all of this?

In part, yes. In part, no. We all know that pornography does not offer very elaborate scenarios of FIRST NUDE. Sometimes they are downright nonexistent. Our fantasies can also have the absence of these more elaborate scenarios in our sexuality. I would tell you that the quest for performance and the lack of sexual presence are rather the last causes of the lack of effort that we sometimes find in long-term romantic relationships.

We must then question our scenarios BEFORE ALL NUDE to fully understand what could create this lack of sexual desire in the partners. There are obviously many other elements to consider regarding this difficulty that arises in a relationship. On the other hand, you have to start from the beginning. Imagine that a sexual relationship is like a cake and that the flour (essential ingredient) is the seduction. Without seduction and “build-up”, the cake is unlikely to be very appetizing even if all the other ingredients are present.

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The BEFORE being completely naked

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Catherine Coaches