SEXUALITY AND LIFE AFTER CANCER (Part I) | Amalthea Blog

Author: VERÓNICA BLASCO.

As we announced a few days ago, from Amalthea, we have launched a new program destined for all those people who have had cancer, as well as their partners.

After years of interviews with women who had gone through these processes, we realized that many of their concerns, fears and difficulties related to sexuality had some points in common and that they were not directly addressed both in the process and in recovery. . Thus We got down to work trying to cover this area and thus be able to help a much more global recovery.

I must start this post saying thanks to all those women who have opened their souls to me and shared their experiences, because without them, this would not be possible.

So, in the words of one of these women, we could summarize So…

“I had chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments, mastectomy and removal of the ovaries, which generated an anticipated menopause with 31 years. In my case, I went a long time without having sexual intercourse since the treatments and operations inhibited all sexual desire.

In any case, as I recovered, I tried to resume relationships, but the scar from childbirth, the treatments and the early menopause created a physical and psychological barrier, where pain and lack of lubrication prevented having pleasant relationships. Despite overcoming the adaptation of my new physique with the bilateral mastectomy, my breasts stopped having nipples and erections in them, lack of sensitivity, scars … What bothered and worried me the most was not being able to enjoy sex again in some way, Although it was different from the previous one, so young I wanted to try to remedy it, face it and recover what was possible. When you face reviews, you comment on it, but there is a void on this issue… On the one hand it is normal, cancer is a very serious disease… “

Talk about cancer and sexuality, is talking about a great universe. If these terms have something in common, it is the large number of variables and differences that make them up.

Even so, and despite the difficulty of being able to write about so many variables, today I want to contribute some reflections around both terms, focusing on the first stage, that of fears, griefs, doubts and uncertainties and how this affects the way we see ourselves, feel, allow ourselves and desire.

The fears and the duels.

In these first moments, doubts, fears, concerns and uncertainties, are usually the general guideline. After the diagnosis, our usual life is temporarily paused to be able to manage the urgent; the treatments, the approach to the disease …

In order to face this situation, it is very important to communication, either with family, partner or professionals. We are not alone and the support and understanding of our environment will be fundamental.

It can also be helpful to listen to other people who have been through similar processes. Thanks to technologies, we have many possibilities, either through associations such as the Spanish association against cancer (AECC) or through platforms and social networks (an example is the YouTube channel of YaizaCumelles).

The permits.

In this situation, and in relation to our erotic life, the first thing that on many occasions it usually leaves us, it is the erotic desire. I emphasize the “many times” since it is not always the case. When this happens, the person usually feels guilty … And you will think, guilty? About what? Guilty of continuing to desire and seek pleasure within so much pain.

With all this and although this is not usually the most frequent, I would like to start with the permits;it is as legal to wish as not to. In both cases we must allow these feelings, since there is no single and ideal way of handling situations. If you want to enjoy, do it! And if you don’t feel like it, don’t do it out of obligation.

All people are different and each one uses the tools they think are best to dominate situations. That is why it is important to stop and listen to yourself, to be able to act according to “what you hear.”

Esteem.

Another area that is usually affected in the first moments of treatment, is usually the esteem and the perception of our body since in most cases, we will have quite a few changes, both in form and in substance.

If we focus on the first (hair loss and nails, body swelling and scars …) they are surely the most striking signs. Given this and as with everything, there will be someone who takes it better, and who takes it worse.

Here it is important that si really is something that is affecting us, take time for us and to see ourselves better. There are support programs that can help us, giving us guidelines and advice to better cope with the external part.

And next to the form, the bottom: surely we are more apathetic, with enough fatigue and perhaps with the spirits oscillating. Here again, it is important that we take time and give ourselves permission. And as with the rest of the variables, nobody is going to handle it in the same way. There will be those who will take it as their own time to rest, focus on her and regain strength … Other people may experience it worse, wanting to do activities and their body does not accompany them as before. And also, it may be that none of the above is happening to us and we can continue with our routines.

In any of the cases there are keys and factors such as a good diet, moderate exercise or establishing routines that can help us carry this part. Informing us with specialized people will help us throughout this process.

We are not talking about an easy process, but with its good and bad days, and with some guidelines we can make it happen in the best possible way. Bad days are probably there, but let’s make days good opportunities to recharge energy and keep moving forward.

We would like to give thanks to the author of this write-up for this outstanding content

SEXUALITY AND LIFE AFTER CANCER (Part I) | Amalthea Blog


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