Sexual incompetence produces sexual satisfaction

Your sexual incompetence will lead you to greater satisfaction in your sexuality. Whether you want it or not, this is a must. When we are young adolescents, we do not have the greatest confidence in our sexual skills. On the other hand, we imagine ourselves as an adult to have acquired everything to now do a “good job”. Well no!

You develop a certain confidence the more you practice and adapt to your sexuality. We discover talents and sexual skills that we doubted at the beginning of our first sexual intercourse. This confidence is useful because it allows us to explore more and be less worried with our sexual partners. This feeling is temporary, however, because it is inevitable that one day you will find yourself in a new situation where your knowledge and sexual learning will not be useful to you in these circumstances. For many, this feeling of sexual incompetence returns them to their first experience related to sexuality with a partner, which was not at all comfortable or glorifying.

You have TWO choices in your sexuality

Face or not face your insecurities, that is the question … or the answer I know too well. In short, there are all kinds of ways to deal with the moment that awful sense of incompetence emerges. Usually, it happens after several years of sexual “success” where everything is going well and poof! Suddenly, your skills and knowledge fail you. The stimulation that you offer to the other is less effective, even almost useless, to excite him. You are frantically trying to figure out how to get there, it increases your stress. Your-Your partner feels your worries and feels guilty for making you feel ugly.

Repeat this experience over and over again, which only increases the apprehension and usually kills the sexual desire in your relationship. You are now in the midst of your life’s opportunity for your sexuality. This is the time to learn new sexual skills that will push you to your sexuality 2.0.

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How feeling sexually incompetent leads to sexual satisfaction

Become a master of sex

First lesson to become a master of sexuality… Dramatic drum music, please!…You will not master anything! When you understand that no sexual technique will make you happy and that of the other, you will now be able to explore sexuality in all its forms. “Eh! what … but what useless advice”I hear some of you saying right now.

The sexual relation is not a series of techniques to be applied to arrive at the famous and extraordinary orgasm. It’s a question of offering the other their full presence and taking pleasure in each stimulation and moment of sexual complicity with the other.

It’s so simple and so complicated at the same time

Have you ever meditated or done yoga? Do mindfulness exercises or some other zen method? If so, you are halfway towards a more fulfilling sexuality. Meditating alone is a difficult activity in itself for many, doing it at the same time as you have sex and want to involve the other in the process requires good self-knowledge and tolerance at a high level of emotional intensity. .

Being with yourself during a sexual relationship requires confronting your insecurities that arise through the internal discourse you have with yourself during this erotic activity. Have you ever taken the time to listen to what goes on in your head during sex? If not, it’s time to listen to yourself… it’s usually not very calm and calming especially if you’ve started to feel incompetent in your sexuality recently.

Learn to accept your sexual incompetence

When you accept that you are always incompetent in sexuality and that you are in perpetual learning with regard to sexuality and your human relations, you will be able to go to “LEVEL” 2. The problem is not the feeling of incompetence. , but the way you perceive that feeling and your handling of it. If you are perpetually trying to get rid of it, you are probably running to your doom like a dog that wants to bite its own tail. Either you’ll never make it, or when you bite your tail, you’re going to be in pain. #lifechoices

During your next sexual encounter:

  • Listen to your feelings and your emotions
  • Recognize that you don’t always know what to do to please each other
  • Calm down negative comments you make about yourself or your partner who doesn’t get turned on as easily as you would like
  • Touch with intention
  • Focus on the knowing gaze of your-your beloved
  • Be an adventurer and try new things, without knowing the result

sex therapist montreal

Francois Renaud MA

Montreal psychotherapist sexologist

Specializes in couples therapy

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Sexual incompetence produces sexual satisfaction

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