Sexual disorders: how do you find the courage to talk about it?

Talking about your sexual problems takes courage, but it’s within your reach! In sexuality, dialogue and communication are determining factors. Not only to progress in our relationships, but also when we have to resolve certain difficulties.

How do you know if you should consult? And more importantly, where to go?

Because Mia hopes all women have free and uninhibited sexuality, dare to speak up. All sexual problems have a solution!

A question of well-being or sexuality?
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Consult a sexual health and wellness specialist by phone, messaging or video, 7 days a week.

Definition: sexual disorders

Sexuality occupies an essential and privileged place in our lives, being a determining factor for our global fulfillment.

This sexual, physiological and psychic harmony, however, can be undermined, most often by psychological factors (stress, anxiety, burn out, complexes, prejudices, etc.), but also sometimes sociocultural or even psychological and behavioral (aversion or sexual inhibition, fear, sexual abuse, fetishism or hypersexuality, etc.).

Among the most common physical symptoms we find: dysfunction erectile, l’premature ejaculation, the vaginismus or theanorgasmia.

Often embedded in an accumulation of benign factors – psychological and / or physiological – sexual disorders generally refer to:

Finally, an essential concept for a diagnosis, it is necessary to know that a sexual disorder always involves a form of personal suffering. Sexual behaviors, even uncommon or beside the “normality”, if they are satisfactory for the person and always shared in the consent, should not be regarded as sexual disorders.

This criterion of satisfaction (for oneself or his / her partner) is therefore at the heart of the very definition of sexuality, and a key indicator to enable the sex therapist to provide assistance, diagnosis and treatment.

What is a desire disorder?

Desire disorders are most often linked to a lack of libido or a lack of sexual desire, leading to personal suffering.

We can distinguish several disorders: primary (present since the beginning of sexual life) and secondary (acquired over time).

The causes of these disorders can be:

  • Organic : they are linked to certain treatments, drugs, surgical menopause, etc.
  • Psychological : emotional shock, stress, anxiety, depression, partner’s sexual dysfunction, poor sexual stimulation, relationship in the couple, life event, etc.

Most often, a disorder of sexual desire has several causes (organic and / or psychological) and a sexologist does not rule out any hypothesis in order to find the best possible solutions.

Hence the importance of being confident and comfortable with your doctor: sexual disorders heal completely in 95% of cases.

What is an arousal disorder?

Involving the same factors as for desire disorders, a arousal disorder is a problem related to a sexual degree of organic and / or psychic arousal insufficient, thus blocking access to pleasure.


Vaginismus is defined as “the prolonged or recurrent muscle contraction of the muscles of the pelvic floor (levator ani and adductors) which circumscribe the vulva and the vagina, preventing vaginal penetration”.

He can be primary (present since the beginning of sexual life), and often of psychological origin, but it can also have as causes:

  • Sociocultural and / or religious factors;
  • A history of sexual abuse;
  • Relationship problems with the partner;

A vaginismus secondary (acquired over time) usually requires a complete pelvic examination to determine if there is an organic cause:

  • Presence of infections;
  • A tear-type trauma, poorly healed episiotomy, etc.
  • The influence of certain treatments;


These are the pains felt during sexual relations, particularly during penetration, and almost systematically (in all situations, with all partners, regardless of the practices, etc.)

  • Infections of the vulva or vagina (yeast infection, herpes, eczema, genital warts, etc.);
  • Inflammation of the vulva;

Depending on the causes, the pain on penetration can be more or less deep: at the entrance to the vagina, localized on the vulva, deep in the vagina, etc.

Are paraphilias sexual disorders?

In common parlance, paraphilia is characterized as marginal or atypical sexuality.

Derived from Greek (for means “near, beside” and philia “Love, take an interest in”), the paraphilia describes sexual practices on the fringes of “traditional” or considered “normal” practices.

These impulses, behaviors or fantasies must have been present for at least 6 months to be considered as sexual disorders, and are usually the cause of a deterioration of social life (or another important area) and can cause confusion.

This affects the intimate, our fantasies, our desires, but also our personal and / or marital difficulties.

And even when we have decided to consult a sex therapist, we can naturally have fears and encounter obstacles that prevent us from taking this step.

Difficulty seeing the problem

This is how it is for everyone. It takes time to realize that you have a sexual difficulty, and also to accept it.

Sometimes, we allow ourselves time, vacations, we put it down to fatigue, stress, everyday life. In short, time can pass, and the problems can stay or consolidate.

Other times, the sexual difficulties improve, and you might think that the problem is solved.

But when this difficulty reappears (if it reappears), time will have continued to pass, without the root of the problem being understood. Bringing its share of stress and concerns.

Finally, the other difficulty (once the problem is accepted) is knowing who to consult.

Who to talk to about their sexual difficulties?

General practitioner, sex therapist, psychologist, sex therapist: how do you know who to talk to?

Is the GP the best person to talk about sexual problems? If not, which specialist to choose? These are normal questions that we ask ourselves, once we recognize having difficulties in our sexuality.

The fear of consulting is generally accompanied by several fears:

  • Fear of being embarrassed (or of embarrassing the doctor);
  • The fear of being judged, of not being taken seriously;
  • Or that we blame it on age;
  • The fear of not finding solutions, etc.

Finally, some doctors do not proactively ask questions, which does not help matters.

The sex therapist is therefore the privileged interlocutor. to discuss sexual issues and find the best solutions. Depending on the difficulties and thanks to his address book, he / she can then refer his or her patient to other specialists.

Today, sexual health is officially recognized as an integral part of general health. And that, as a medical entity, sexual health deserves the same care as other health problems.

Sexual problems are also very common: they concern 1 in 5.

Doctors are therefore more and more trained to deal with sexual problems; some have even specialized, such as sex therapists, psychologists where the physiotherapists.

It is possible to consult at any time : whether the problem has existed for several months or for many years, whether the problem is mild or severe, whether you are alone or in a relationship; there is no limit.

You can simply consult to ask questions, to have information, or for a problem that requires care.

Finally, some good advice before a consultation: do not stress yourself over your problems in advance, or how to approach them with your sex therapist. It is up to the sex therapist to guide you and ask you the necessary questions.

Consult in the simplest and most natural way possible; even if it seems complicated now!

The first consultation is always the most difficult. But once past this milestone, we realize that it is quite normal to discuss these subjects. Sex therapists are used to talking about sexual problems and always look for solutions with kindness.

You must feel comfortable with the person you are talking to and can change doctors at any time. Intimate subjects can be broached, with difficulty in talking about them. But a doctor will never ask sassy questions.

Its questionnaire will always be oriented to solve the problem that directly affects you.

Sexual problems: what to remember

If you feel the need to consult a sex therapist, – whether it is simply to obtain information or to solve a problem – simply make an appointment, as if you were making an appointment with any other healthcare professional!

The most important is to promote this approach : our sexual health is decisive in our daily lives. The sex therapist will first be there to listen to you, and then guide you through his or her questions.

You alone should judge whether a consultation is necessary, by asking yourself some basic questions. Am I concerned about any aspect of my sexuality? Am I having difficulties? Is it a source of suffering? For what and for whom to consult?

Everyone experiences their sexuality in a different way and has different expectations. You should not consult because you are afraid of not being in the “norm”, but only if you feel the need for it for yourself or those around you.

A question of well-being or sexuality?
Talk to a therapist or sex therapist on

Consult a sexual health and wellness specialist by phone, messaging or video, 7 days a week. the health platform dedicated to women is a health platform dedicated to women bringing together practitioners all graduated in sexology.

They are supervised by a scientific committee made up of sex therapists and university professors in sexology and executive members of sex therapists associations.

The platform allows all women to consult online one of the specialists in questions of sexuality and / or well-being. The online consultation can take place by 3 modes (telephone, secure messaging or videoconference) and has all of the following advantages:

  • A team of practitioners female sexuality specialists and specially trained in the practice of teleconsultation;
  • A 30-minute consultation at 45 euros (the prices in practice vary from 80 to 100 euros);
  • Product delivery support in 24 or 48 hours;

The data is collected and secured by an approved and certified hosting provider for health data within the meaning of the provisions of article L.1111-8 of the public health code.

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Sexual disorders: how do you find the courage to talk about it?

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