On March 23, with the intention of contributing my grain of sand to cope with confinement in the best possible way, I premiered with live shows on Instagram. They have been directed mainly at families and people interested in childhood and adolescence. We start by talking about prevention of sexual abuse in minors, providing some keys, ideas and reflections that you can find here
On April 1 we continued talking about how to accompany early childhood sexuality from 0 to 5 years. One of the questions that is most often repeated in the workshops on sexuality and affectivity that I facilitate to families is what is the ideal age to start talking about these topics at home.
Sexuality accompanies us from birth to the moment of our death therefore sex education is always present, we wanted or not. We educate with words, with gestures, with looks, with what we say and with what we keep silent. Sex education often begins at the moment of conception with the expectations and stereotypes that I project based on the genitalia. Once the child is born, they perceive and receive a lot of messages: the caresses, the tone of voice, our gaze, the food they eat, the skin to skin, all these gestures convey sexuality and love.
On April 8 we continued talking about the sexuality from 6 to 9 years, when compulsory primary education begins. It was an accessible talk and interpreted into sign language, thanks to the generosity of Patricia de la Inclusivxs Association.
From the 7-8 years there is a vital change in our creatures, “They begin to change” is not a stage of lethargy, as many families think, in fact it is the most important stage, the most vital for learn about pleasures, bodies, limits, desires, diversities …
But at these ages many creatures have already internalized that asking or talking about sexuality is a “forbidden subject.”
During the talks and workshops with families and teachers, everyone names, to a greater or lesser extent, the difficulty talking about sexuality. Those who dare with the subject, usually focus on the reproduction, how it came in and where it came out. Many families that have reproduced with the help of third parties also wonder cHow to respond to homomarentality, homoparentality, sperm donation, egg donation, families of origin in adoptions, foster families or surrogacy.
Few families dare to talk about the pleasure we feel in the body that we can feel pleasure when we touch our genitals and the rest of the body, that it also happens to adults and that something that gives us pleasure and ourselves is not bad. Families tend to be concerned about the spaces where they “should be touched and where not”, hence their attitude is often limited to regulating behaviors and spaces.
On April 15, we headed to families of pre-adolescent children from 10 to 12 years old, it was also an inclusive talk with the collaboration of the @asociacioninclusivxs. We begin by reviewing all vital ages and continue talking about various changes, emotional and psychic development, menarchies, ejaculations, pleasures and sexual attractions, all focused from the vision of a 10, 11 or 12 year old creature, knowing that the ages and maturity of each person, as well as their interests, tastes and desires are always unique, diverse and singular.
On April 22 I did a special aimed at teenagers from 10 to 12 years old, which was very well received. It was broadcast through IG and Facebook and about 180 people among adolescents and families were connected. Some of the questions that came to us as teenagers were the following:
-Is my body growing well?
– Will I develop like the rest?
– Why do I get hair?
– When will I have my first period?
– Why are there days when you wake up very sad and other days very happy?
– Is my penis normal?
– What is flow?
You sent me many messages of thanks both from the families and from the participating girls and boys. The most repeated was: “Thank you because you have allowed me to share a space with my daughter / or to talk about these issues, something unusual …” “Thank you because you have helped me feel less strange”
On April 29 we talked about lsexuality during adolescence from the age of 14. Families are primarily concerned the risks and dangers that can derive from certain practices and sexual violence but When our discourse focuses exclusively on dangers and risks, our adolescents disconnect. In the middle of adolescence, the most important thing is to accompany young people in the exercise of their responsibility so that they know what they are doing and the consequences of what they do, to inform, not to censor and / or cause fear; responsibility and respect and let them know that they can count on you.
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