You might initially think that receiving oral sex would be easier being in a more passive position and that we don’t need to perform sexually. Well! Think again, because for many people, this is not the case.
“To receive”In sexuality begins by recognizing our intrinsic worth to deserve it. For many people, this is not a given. To be worthy of receiving, one can often have the impression of having to offer it in return before or after to be in the reciprocity, often immediate. For others, oral sex is seen simply as a preparation for penetration, so more like a task or a step to accomplish in order to have the “real” thing. (NB: there is no real real thing!). This then gives the impression that our partner doesn’t like to do oral sex on us and we feel bad. More often an issue for women than for men, smell and taste are also factors that worry them.
There is also a pressure to get excited quickly to reassure our partner that he or she is doing a good job. It detaches us from the pleasure that we can take there, because we are more concerned with flattering the ego of the eater (se). You recognize the following dialogues while having your genitals eaten:
- “I wonder what my cock feels like. When was the last time I showered ”.
- “Does he-she like to lick my cock”
- “Am I bandaged enough?”
- “Why don’t I feel more horny and lubricated?”
- “Ouch, that’s too strong” (but I’m not going to tell him, because it will hurt his emotions)
- “Damn it’s long before my orgasm, I hope he-she doesn’t find it too boring”
- “Are you wrong that I also offer her oral sex … I would feel like a pocket if I didn’t give her the same”
- “She sucks me because she doesn’t want to be penetrated”
- “He eats me just because he wants to have penetration… I just wish I had oral sex”
During oral sex, we feel through mind-mapping this internal dialogue that each partner can have during a mouth exchange. This further feeds the respective concerns of each.
SOLUTION 101 for pleasurable and satisfying oral sex
- Ignore and forget about your sexual performance and your tongue techniques
- Enjoy the touch you give, your partner will enjoy seeing you having fun with their body
- Try to feel connected to the other rather than arousing the right place
- Realize that you are not just giving, but also receiving pleasure.
- Ignore your partner’s performance insecurities, there’s nothing you can do about it
- Give yourself the right and the personal value that we offer you this sexual gift
- Let your partner admire and explore your body rather than directing to the “spot” or technique
- Realize that you are not just receiving, but also giving pleasure.
And don’t forget… sex is supposed to be fun not stressful!
We would like to thank the writer of this short article for this amazing material
SeX: Are you able to eat yourself? – the sexologue.ca
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