In our practice as liberal sexologists, we are constantly confronted with the question of Desire, sexual desire, desire within the couple.
We are led to meet in consultation with individuals whose sexuality is harmed because very often under the influence of the ideas conveyed by the media of “good sexual behavior” which, most of the time, is not representative of the sexuality of the majority of us.
The “well-being” articles conveyed by many media urging us to have an ever more fulfilling sexuality can sometimes create the exact opposite of their primary goal and lead to excesses and false beliefs about sexuality. It is then easy for many people to imagine that the sex life of others is much more exciting than their own.
This practice takes stock of a subject regularly discussed in magazines: the practice of sex outdoors or in an unusual place. It is indeed a widespread and often realized fantasy, but in reality, most couples prefer the comfort and privacy of the bedroom!
One out of two couples has already tried outdoor sex
Thanks to surveys and regular studies, we know the sexual habits of French people. We know in particular that about 40% of couples have already tried “outdoor sex”: an IFOP study published in 2017 shows that 42% of Parisians have already had sex in a public place (sea, mountain, car, etc.). Another slightly older study, 2012, carried out on the French population, found a figure of 39%, or roughly equivalent.
We can therefore say that it is a widespread practice since nearly one out of two couples has already experienced it! However, it remains rather the occasional realization of a fantasy, more than a regular practice.
Because in the majority of cases, sexual intercourse takes place at home or in a private place: the bed remains unquestionably the favorite place of the French to make love, for 79% of respondents.
But that does not prevent us from fantasizing about making love in so-called unusual places (car, elevator, public garden, forest, etc.), since it is the fantasy of a large majority of French people (73% of women and 63% of men!). Thanks to these surveys, we can clearly see the difference between fantasizing/imagining oneself and taking action!
A frequent practice among people under 25… but often linked to a logistical problem
It is a practice that is carried out rather at the beginning of sexual activity, among those under 25: more than one in two students has already made love outside! This is explained both by the need to make new experiences, but also by a logistical need, young people sometimes not always having a private place of their own (students who live with their parents, for example).
The 2017 IFOP study, for example, shows that the figure of 42% rises to 44% among those under 25 and 52% among students.
Braving the ban, more than a desire for communion with nature…
What the majority of people who make love outdoors are looking for is clearly the (unacknowledged) desire to be surprised. Having sex in an unusual or public place is the most common fantasy (68% of French people!). This practice represents above all the fact of defying the prohibition of sexual relations in public: it is a subversive practice, in relation to social conventions and established laws (art. 222-32 of the Penal Code).
We know that the sexual fantasy is all the more effective when it transgresses a prohibition, a taboo. Moreover, there are as many combinations of fantasies, desires, pleasures as there are individuals. What pleases in making love outdoors is therefore both the excitement of transgression, the prohibition, but also the excitement of taking a risk (risk of being surprised…). In the end, it’s not so much the desire for sex “outside” that takes precedence, but the desire to do it in an “unusual” place, which is out of the ordinary, or which was not originally intended for it. .
A symptom of the evolution of our sexuality, which tends towards greater freedom, not to be confused with exhibitionism, often pathological
Sexuality falls within the realm of intimacy, of the private sphere, but intimacy is always political, it echoes a social framework; in other words: we cannot dissociate sexual practices from the time in which they occur! .
But the real exhibition (that is to say the fact of deliberately exposing one’s genitals) is a practice which remains marginal, which is accompanied most of the time by other disorders (of the personality in particular), and should not be confused with that of having sex in an unusual place, public or outdoors.
A possibility to find complicity in the couple and new fantasies
Making love in an unusual place, respecting social rules and everyone’s freedom of course, can however create a moment of complicity in the couple.
We can consider things in different ways: either spontaneously, at the moment T when a sexual desire is born and the circumstances are met, or by having, during a walk, spotted a place conducive to lovemaking.
Telling your partner and premeditating this experience can also help create desire!
However, there is no need to look at all costs for an “unusual place” to spice up your sex life as a couple, you can simply change a few habits and ways of doing things in your sex life, while staying at home.
We want to thank the author of this article for this outstanding content
Outdoor sex: fantasy, reality or deviance?
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