Misconception “My erection will be better if I contract” – Le Blog Sexologue

Raphaël has from time to time small erection drops. In the past 6 months it’s happened to him 3 or 4 times. The last was a few days ago when he was having sex with his wife. Since It’s still kind of stuck in his head.

To reassure himself he will put some full view to his wife this evening. They are going to do their foreplay as usual which will make her excited. He will then wait to have a nice erection to penetrate his partner.

At this time he plans to fully contract abs and thighs to be even harder. Then it will start going back and forth keeping a lot of force in the penetration. Then once he sees his wife reach orgasm, he will contract the whole body the most possible to give the maximum energy to his erection to end in beauty.

So here we are in the evening. Raphaël takes his wife’s hand with a smile and leads her into the bedroom. They undress while kissing. Perfect! He feels that his erection begins to rise. They lie on the bed then caress each other, the pleasure rises in the two lovers.

Raphael now feels that his erection is in the top. He therefore spreads the legs of his wife who seems to appreciate his initiative and put his plan into action. The man therefore penetrates his partner and contracts the abs to harden his erection.

He then feels that his penis actually rises a little. His wife smiles at him and starts moaning. So she felt it too, everything is going well. It remains well contracted but strangely, after 3 seconds, his erection droops a bit.

Do not panic! Raphaël decides to move on to the second phase a little earlier. Now here it is contracts his whole body. And there, it is the drama… Because his erection, little by little, inexorably and while he tries to contract even stronger, completely disappears.

How does an erection work?

The penis fills with blood

To help you, I would like you to imagine the penis as a sponge. For a sponge to grow, it must absorb a liquid, this liquid it’s blood. The penis will fill with blood which will allow it to swell and harden. So the opposite phenomenon takes place when the erection decreases, the blood escapes from the penis.

How does blood get to the penis?

The blood is carried into the penis through a blood vessel (a pipe) which is permanently pinched between two muscles. When sex is at rest, there is no erection, these two muscles pinch the pipe. Therefore they thus prevent the blood from passing in the penis. At the moment of erection, the muscles relax and release the pipe so that blood can pass. That’s it! The “sponge” of the penis can swell.

Click here to see the sponge structure of the penis.

So, what happens if I contract?

As we have just seen, these are muscles that pinch the pipe that allows erection. If you contract the abs for example, there will be a reaction of increased muscle tension of the whole body. So the muscles that control the flow of blood to the penis will also contract.

To understand this story of increased muscle tension, I offer you an exercise. Clench your fist. Louder… Even louder… Stronger and stronger!!!

Now let’s observe the result: your fist is clenched but also your arm, your shoulder and maybe even your jaw! And There you go, your muscle tension of the whole body increased!

This is what happened to Raphael. The first contracting of the abs has begun to close the blood pipe. As he noticed that his erection was diminishing he then contracted his whole body which ended up shutting off the flow of blood to his penis. So his erection has faded away.

How to get a better erection?

The goal of all the techniques to control the erection will therefore be to relax the muscles pinching the pipe. The problem is that these muscles are not controlled by willingness.

We will therefore release them indirectly by reducing the general muscular tension of the body. The body techniques are then slow down your movements, take up space, have a voluntary relaxation of your body and control your breathing.

To learn more about sexual techniques read this article: Misconception “An erection should be as hard as possible”.

A good state of mind to be tougher

What can also be deduced from the functioning of the erection is that all emotional states that increase muscle tension will decrease erection. In fact, fear, anxiety or fatigue are psychological states which contract us all. So it will be much more complicated to have good erections in these circumstances.

The male sex is the lightest in the world, a simple thought lifts it

Frederic Dart

To learn more about the right state of mind to have and how to work on it, I recommend this article: received idea “If my man doesn’t have an erection, it’s because I don’t excite him”.

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Misconception “My erection will be better if I contract” – Le Blog Sexologue


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