Misconception “#metoo will improve male-female relationships” 1/2 – Le Blog Sexologue

Tom hurries to do not miss your bus. He comes out of work and can’t wait to get back his wife and two children. Their children. Just thinking about it he smiles and his heart swells happiness.

It is all the more fortunate that they have had hard to have them because of his erection problems. It is true that since the laws of Controlled Penetration in the summer of 2043, the red tape to have sex with his wife bothered him a lot.

The sworn consent form that she had to complete before each penetration still included an entire page of text to be copied by hand. Already that was breaking his desire quite a bit. The worst for him then came when he was scanning the documents to send them to the #metoo administration.

Especially since they liked to make love on Saturday night and that the requests flocked precisely that day of the week. It was therefore sometimes necessary to wait up to 45 minutes before having an “ARSP”.

Authorization for Sexual Intercourse with Penetration.

The torment still continued for him when he installed video material. The idea that someone was going to judge the legality of their sexual act by watching the film of their antics put him on uncomfortable. It was even very difficult because he had already had a warning. Indeed, during one of their previous sexual intercourse, his wife forgot to say part of the pre-penetration statement.

It is true that she was relatively long : ” Me [nom de la femme] of sound mind and body, I give my consent and express authorization to [nom de l’homme] the [date] at [heure] to penetrate my vagina with his penis. This declaration is valid only for this action and any other act of penetration must be the subject of a separate declaration ”.

In addition since the amendments of Strengthening of the Law of Controlled Penetration from winter 2047, the statement was to be repeated every 30 seconds. Indeed this hardening of the law had followed many convictions of men for pre-orgasmic loss of consent. Most of the time the accusation was that the #metoo council felt that women felt assaulted by the increased rhythm penetration at the end of sexual intercourse.

So all of this was making it difficult for Tom to erect. But they got there. By dint of patience and tenacity.

They had also participated in l’effort national. Because the birth rate was the big cause for several years now. Indeed the red tape to have sex as well as the dizzying increase in celibacy had made collapse the number of births.

And yes single. Men no longer dare to seduce women. Since the Law of Controlled Seduction of 2047…

Sexual harassment, a concept impossible to legislate

At the heart of the #metoo movement is the notion of sexual harassment and sexual assault.

The definition of sexual harassment is: »The fact of repeatedly imposing on a person remarks or behaviors with a sexual connotation that are undermine his dignity because of their degrading or humiliating character, either create against him an intimidating, hostile or offensive situation « . Source : public service site.

The problem with this definition is what is highly subjective. A woman will feel more or less easily affected in her dignity according to a multitude of parameters. Suddenly public morality tries to define a red line not to be exceeded because justice cannot do it. Indeed, the judicial system is based entirely on facts and not on feelings.

The feelings of a harassed woman can be completely legitimate. I mean maybe she is really harassed. But in the absence of proof, justice considers that there is an absence of fact. And therefore that there is no harassment. That’s why 90% of complaints for sexual harassment result in a dismissal. Source : Release “Can we still flirt at work? “.

The #metoo movement therefore prevails how women feel. They can report on social networks if they feel they are being harassed.

This to compensate as we have just seen an ineffective law. It is public morality that dictates the red line not to be crossed.

There are three problems with this:

  1. It is therefore against the law.
  2. Popular opinion will decide what is condemnable or not. Because it is the echo on social networks that will sign the guilt.
  3. This red line is by definition highly subjective her too.

And to define this red line, #metoo tells us that it is the consent who should guide our actions.

Consent, an impossible notion to grasp

Unfortunately, consent is also a concept difficult to define.

Because it still remains a doubt on the consent of the other. We are not in the other’s mind so we will never know if the other is 100% consenting.

I am not talking about the obvious sexual assault cases. I am talking about the cases where we are going to seek precisely get consent the other.

In the phase of seduction : before trying to talk to a woman you don’t know if you can talk to her. Before attempting to kiss her, even if the conditions are favorable, you can never be 100% sure that she would like to be kissed.

In the phase sexual also: before undressing, caressing and penetrating a woman one is never completely certain of his consent.

The rule, the law considers that the trial is acceptable and that the woman’s refusal informs us of her consent. And that we must act accordingly. If a woman refuses, she must be left alone.

But it’s not even that simple. Consent can be given then withdrawn at once. And there are even situations where it is impossible to give consent because the law considers that you are not able to have the necessary clarity of mind.

For example a doctor with a patient is not allowed to have sex because the situation prevents this woman from giving her consent.

#metoo invents safe and certain consent

This is where the drift begins. The #metoo movement in his laudable struggle to protect women realizes the problems that the concept of consent can pose.

He will therefore state two rules:

  1. When in doubt, we abstain. If a woman hasn’t rolled out a huge red carpet for you, you leave her alone. Basically no seduction if she hasn’t called you.
  2. In doubt we ask for express consent. Always, all the time. We should no longer assume tacit consent. It does not exist. Consent is expressed.

In the first case the effects are that my office is filled with women who are complain that men do not approach them. And that shyness and kindness scare them away. And that men no longer know how to define their masculinity because they are afraid of being aggressive.

And i wanted push the stopper to illustrate consent at any cost dictated by popular morality by the story of Tom.

The continuation of Tom’s adventures in the next article …

#partagetonarticle 😉

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Misconception “#metoo will improve male-female relationships” 1/2 – Le Blog Sexologue

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