Misconception “I have a sexual addiction because I cheat on my wife” – Le Blog Sexologue

Hugo returns on tiptoe. It’s three o’clock in the morning. With a bit of luck he will manage to sneak into bed without his wife waking up. So he begins to develop a map.

Good already he took off his shoes to reduce the noise he makes while walking. The second part is more complicated. Because the steps of the staircase creak a lot. Fortunately over time he noticed that if he went on the left at the beginning then he leaned on the banister in the middle and finally he ended up going on the right, the staircase remained almost silent.

Ok we are ready let’s go. No! He forgot to plan the passage from the bedroom. Especially there you have to plan because it’s going to be the hardest. So first step, get undressed in the hallway. Then open the door millimeter by millimeter. And with the skill of a snake, slipping into bed with the technique of “I lift the sheets on my side so that they don’t move on his”. He smiles anyway because he thinks he’ll get there. He must have been ninja in a past life!

His wife, sitting in the living room the light off, looks at Hugo. She saw him enter in silence and now it goes five good minutes he stares at the stairs smiling like a moron. She stands up. Hugo doesn’t hear her, he seems lost in his dreams. She stands behind him, also looking at the stairs. She sees nothing. “What the hell are you doing? » she asks.

“AAAAAAHHHHH!!! » Hugo pushes an old cry of horror. She gave him the scare of his life.

Heart pounding, he begins to come to his senses: “I… I was at work…” he says unsure of himself.

“At three o’clock in the morning?…” she said, jaded. She then lowers her gaze and resumes “And I suppose that with your colleague Dédé you had a battle of balloons filled with water, hence the box of condoms sticking out of your pocket. What a mess this Dede…”

Well, Hugo said to himself that he had perhaps been a ninja in another life but that he hadn’t necessarily been out major de promo.

Faced with the fait accompli, he finally admits: “Ok I was still with another girl… But you know very well that I suffer too. Because I can’t help it: I have a sex addiction. »

Fashionable sex addiction

Since the “Tiger Woods affair”, this term of sexual addiction is fashion. This golf champion who was treated for sexual addiction because he kept cheating on his girlfriend, despite himself unearthed this expression used much less so far.

So we really hear it in all sauces. ‘Cause sex addiction is good for us disempower in relation to our behavior towards sex.

So I don’t know if Tiger Woods was really a sex addict or not. However, what I do know is that I regularly have requests consultations for this reason. And 90% of the time it’s not not a sexual addiction.

Most often they are men sent by their wives. For two main reasons:

  • They look from porno and they can’t stand it.
  • There have been extramarital relationship.

Obviously watching porn does not mean that one is a sex addict, to find out more I recommend that you read: Misconception “Porn actors are sex animals”.

The excuse for infidelity is that there is nothing as pleasant as the beginnings of love

Edward Herriot

And for extramarital affairs, our human nature pushes us to have several sexual partners. Once again I develop this concept in this article: Received idea “Women and men are made to live as a couple”.

So these two isolated elements do not prove In nothing that one is a sex addict.

Ok what is a sex addiction then?

To put it simply, there is two factors signs of addictive behavior:

  1. This behavior must have a negative impact on at least one aspect of your life. The social, financial, professional, psychological or health aspect.
  2. Like any addiction, the intensity of the stimulation must be increasingly strong to obtain the same effect of pleasure. It’s habituation.

Let us illustrate these definitions. We can imagine for this a real addiction to pornography.

It would be a man who lose friends because he doesn’t make the effort to call them or see them to watch (social) porn. Who is very tired because he watches it every night until very late (healthy). How tired he is he falls asleep at work and makes mistakes (professional). He subscribes to more and more sites which costs him very expensive and ends up causing him problems to pay his (financial) rent. These many sites are necessary because his needs increase over time (habituation). And finally all of this makes it sad and depressed (psychic).

To come back to Hugo’s story, we can quite imagine that he disempowers of a behavior that does not please his wife by invoking an imaginary sexual addiction.

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Misconception “I have a sexual addiction because I cheat on my wife” – Le Blog Sexologue

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