Masculinity: what is it to be an attractive man? – The Sexologist Blog

Comment seduce a woman ?

What causes her sexual desire ?

This question is to say the least essential for men and most often very mysterious.

But not only. Imagine that for a lot of women this question is also enigmatic.

However, seduction is a very important concept. First, of course, with a view to finding a new or a new partner. But even more inside the couple because it will be at the heart of the good understanding between you. Seduction will also be an essential condition for sexual desire, libido and carnal pleasure.

However, many couples take this notion for granted and stop seducing each other. It is a mistake. Because without respect for sex roles in privacy it is the rancor which is likely to settle.

The good news is that it is easily repairable, so I will deliver to you in this article basic concepts of masculinity and in a next we will therefore talk about femininity.

Seduction, a political issue that must be dispassionate

I told you in the introduction that men and women could no longer define what seduction was.

The proof I was reading no later than this morning the article in a very large circulation women’s magazine. The title was very clear and fell right on what we are going to tell here: “How to flirt with a woman? “

And there it is the drama.

The advice put forward was that s’adapter to the coveted woman. Roughly speaking, stick to their desires, their tastes and their colors. I think it is the worst advice that we can give in terms of seduction.

And that’s how boys of my generation were raised.

“To please a woman, make her happy”. This is a sentence that sums up this state of mind.

I’m telling you straight out it does not work.

Remember in high school. Who attracted all the girls?

The nice, understanding and kind guy?

Or the Bad-boy who didn’t give a damn about his conquests?

And yes ! I think you didn’t hesitate a second before answering: it was le Bad-boy. While the nice guy was doing it systematically friendzoner as I relate with Hugo’s story in this article.

Yet this false belief has been widely relayed in the media for years.

Because it is a political message.

The problem is that our society was completely patriarchal until recently. It was only in the 1970s that the woman began to take his independence in particular by having access to the labor market.

And for the record I remind you that women have the right to vote only since the 1950s.

This idea is therefore a reaction to the societal imbalance that we were experiencing before.

Counterintuitively I want to say that it’s normal ! Indeed, to move mentalities (which were strongly anchored at the time) we are forced to advocate extreme positions.

Hence the “To please a woman, make her happy”.

So it’s a political message.

What can make a woman want sex with a man?

But I don’t do politics. I try daily to teach in my office concepts and techniques that work.

And for that we must dispassionate the debate.

The best way to do this is to stay down to earth and logical in our reasoning.

So, what is it that can attract women to men. By thinking logically. What causes desire in them?

To help us we will dissect what is desire.

There is a well-known notion in psychology which is that one can only desire something that thewe don’t have.

Let us take a very simple example.

Look at your shoes, the ones on your feet.

Well, you don’t want them because you have them.

Before buying them, however, you wanted them. You stopped in front of the window and thought to yourself that you wanted to buy them and wear them at your feet.

This is the desire: the desire to possess. But once you buy the shoes, the desire disappears because they are yours. The proof of this lack of desire is that if you see that same pair of shoes again you will no longer pay attentionn.

Note that this phenomenon is reversible. If you lose or are stolen your precious shoes you may want them again. You will stop in front of the shop, remembering their sweet memory. You will want to own them again.

Back on topic.

We have just demonstrated that desire is based on non-possession.

So, again, what is it that attracts women to men? In other words what is that men own and women do not?

And yes ! To create desire, women must be deprived of what every man on this planet has …

When I ask the question in consultation, it is not uncommon for my patients to have difficulty finding the answer when it is An evidence.

What men have and women don’t have is simply a penis !

And it is even the only difference between women and men. It is the conformation of their sex.

All the other answers on the differences between the sexes are only gender prejudices and are therefore totally false. Knowing how to read a map or being able to open a jar of pickles, for example.

Penetrance: the symbolism of the penis more important than the penis itself

So women want a penis to fall in love with.

So be careful not in the Freudian sense! They don’t want their gender to be replaced by a man’s sex.

No, they want their own sex be completed by the sex of a man. Because yes, hardly believable news: men and women are made to fit together perfectly during intercourse.

So flirting is easy. Just spot a woman you like on the terrace of a cafe, approach her gently, greet her politely with a discreet smile, then pull out your penis and put it on the table. What a delightful reaction she will have when she sees the object of her desire just within reach. She will invite you to sit down right away to start living a beautiful and great love story.

So obviously I’m kidding, don’t do that you’d be in trouble 😉

Because what interests women is the penis itself, of course.

But not at first.

What men have to demonstrate first is that they know how to use their penis. Or rather that they embody it. That is to say, they have incorporated their status as a sexual man who has a gender in their behavior, their way of acting.

To put it another way they must act like a dick.

So what is a penis for?

Well, only one thing: to penetrate.

Hence the name: penis, penetration.

So to be an attractive man you have to act like a person who possesses and embodies a male sex.

Must have good penetration capacity, you have to show penetrance.

Make no mistake, this is what works: are you able to show a woman that you know how to penetrate her by the way you act?

Are you able to have acts to symbolically show that you have a penis and that you know how to use it?

To sum up are you penetrating your way of being?

Whether it is to find a new partner or to keep the flame alive with your partner.

I think now you’ve got the idea, the logical concept of attracting women to men.

As this evidence on the complementary conformation of the sexes is the only difference between women and men, it is inevitably the top that will be based all the attraction between the partners. So all the behavioral actions to be put in place as well.

But hey all that is very theoretical. Having said that, I think it’s important to understand why I advocate a certain type of behavior to be attractive. To make more sense already and then as we have seen for dispassionate the debate.

So we will tackle in the next article how to concretely put penetrance into practice. I will explain the actions to be performed and you will see that it is not very complicated. You just have to have the information.

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Masculinity: what is it to be an attractive man? – The Sexologist Blog


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