In recent times, at the country level, complaints of sexual abuse in minors have grown, a situation that worsened during the COVID-19 pandemic and that is also being registered again now that the boys began to leave their family environment. Proof of this is the situation experienced by a 6-year-old minor at the Lambaré school where he, with great confidence, was left by his parents for his academic training.
The case of the little boy who was abused by other students in Lambaré hits everyone quite hard, considering that after two years the students returned to face-to-face classes with the hope of socializing with their teachers and classmates. Now only fear reigns on the part of the parents and the children themselves, who regardless of their age could be victims of abuse.
Today on social networks, mental health professionals decided to issue a series of tips for parents to take into account so that their child is not an easy victim of abuse. According to psychologists Olga González and Yakara Tahboub, there are several types of sexual abuse that do not always involve penetration, including: forcing the minor to touch their private parts, forcing them to see others touch themselves, forcing kisses on the mouth or watch porn.
“In any case that the child feels uncomfortable and that he rejects it is an abuse, it is believed that because it did not happen any more it has no repercussion in the life of the minor. That is a mistake that is made a lot, ”Ms. Tahboub explained in a live and stressed that she should always be alert in any situation.
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He assured that there are tools that parents can use to prevent their children from being victims of abuse and that among them is calling the intimate parts by their real names. “Since our children are in diapers, we must explain to them what their private parts are called correctly, which many people think is something vulgar or that they are words not suitable for children. Vulva, vagina, penis and anus are parts of the body, it is all that it is, ”she pointed out.
He affirmed that it is very important to teach them the limits of consent, “that they cannot touch me without me saying yes,” he indicated. In this context, he stressed that at the country level it is still practiced that boys have to greet strangers or families with a kiss or hug and that this should be eradicated, since many times the little one does not feel comfortable. “Rejection must be respected,” he noted.
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For her part, Gloria González stressed that these points are essential for the son or daughter to trust their parents and that from the first day they should speak to them properly. “From a young age they develop those skills and that openness of bond with parents, to ask for help in any case,” she confirmed.
He pointed out that the abuser does not do it randomly and that it is always planned, in addition to knowing how to select the victims, so it is important that parents are not afraid to speak correctly to their children. “The aggressor knows what are the characteristics of a child who can be abused,” she recounted.
“There is a selection process, since if it is with any child, it is exposed too much. It is something very thoughtful, because they want the children who have the least resources not to say or the child who best keeps the secret, “added Yakara. In some cases they choose the little lonely ones, who receive more punishments, who speak less, among others.
“But they also study the parents a lot. The child of a separated mother who lives with another man is 20 times more likely to suffer abuse than a child who lives with her biological parents, according to an international study, ”she confirmed.
He asserted that the aggressors study how much the minor knows about the parts of his body and put him to the test. “If he has the tools to talk or tell what happens to him and he throws secrets at him to create a bond of ‘love’ with the child. In Paraguay, 80% of the abuses occur in the family bond, ”she confirmed.
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Both professionals agreed that there should be no secrets inside the house, since this opens a door for the smallest of the members to be abused. “There are no good or bad secrets, this is very dangerous,” they said. The abuser uses this so that the boys keep the secret of what happened and manipulate their victim.
They confirmed that the abuser does a lot of ant work to achieve that bond with the little one and in the event that it is within the family there is already a bond and it is easier to manipulate the nephew, grandson, cousin. “Then they manipulate the victims by giving them a piece of candy and asking them to keep the secret or when the abuse already occurs that they not tell their parents because ‘mommy and daddy’ are not going to love you anymore. It is something that is thinking of all angles to keep the secret, “they said.
On the other hand, they talked about the difference of a secret, surprise and privacy in a way that children understand to avoid secrets for boys. “We don’t want secrets at home, surprises have an end and it’s something we share with everyone and finally make us happy. While privacy is not a secret, it is something that is kept in the house, but it is not a secret, in addition to the fact that privacy is required when one goes to the bathroom, because we do not want everyone to see you, “concluded Tahboub.
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La Nación / They give advice to prevent minors from being easy victims of sexual abuse