There are many people who do not feel safe and confident in bed. At the prospect of a sexual encounter they can get so nervous that they can even avoid such encounters so as not to face your fear.
This is quite common. Many times we believe that we do not have enough experience or knowledge in sexual matters to enjoy and to make our partner enjoy too. Some of the most frequent thoughts in this regard are the following:
- “You will notice that I have no experience”
- “My partner will think I’m bad in bed”
- “He will not want to see me again”
- “My partner is going to leave me because he is not satisfied
- “He’s going to realize I’m not having a good time and he’s going to get frustrated”
- “I’m not open enough, thrown around, sexy in bed”
- “I am not attractive enough for him to want me and have a good time with me”
When a person comes to a sexual encounter thinking all these things, it is likely that freeze, freeze, do not enjoy and are not able to connect with your partner on the sexual plane. This will cause what she fears most to happen: that her partner will not enjoy herself in bed.
While it is true that some people do not have much (or no) experience in the sexual plane, nor do they have much information and knowledge, it is important to remember that sexuality consists of to sense and not in to know. In bed there are no universal rules or truths that work for everyone. The best applied lovemaking technique in the world will not work at all if we are not feeling and enjoying what we are doing. In fact, there are great lovers who have not had much previous experience or many sexual partners, but who are able to connect, feel and enjoy. Likewise, there are people who have had many sexual relationships with very varied people … with serious difficulties to enjoy and make others enjoy. In the consultation I can teach you very simple techniques to learn to feel, to connect with the other person and to focus on pleasure (and not on the fears in your head).
We can also acquire some knowledge and skills that help us feel more secure. They are very simple little things that can make a big difference when it comes to facing sexuality with more confidence:
- Read books on sexuality: There are great books that can help us better understand how sexuality works and solve the most “theoretical” doubts we have about it.
- Know your body: Observe yourself naked in front of a mirror, touch it and caress it. Do the same with your genitals. Observe them in front of a mirror, run your hands over them and observe your sensations.
- Learn about erotic toys: visit a website like this to know the toys that are on the market right now. Browse the products, be surprised by the latest news and even go shopping.
- Visit a physical erotic store: It is a great experience to dare to visit a store in person, to see that they are relaxed, calm and natural places, to touch the products with your hands and chat with the shop assistants about them.
It is essential to remember that you are going to enjoy bed. Sexuality is something very individual, so it does not allow you to connect with another person from a unique experience, in which we do not need to have great knowledge or experience. The most important thing is to approach the other with curiosity, desire and desire to enjoy. From that point, everything will happen in a simple way.
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I feel insecure in bed – Sex on the skin
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