How to talk to your child about sexuality in adolescence

Do you have an adolescent child and are you worried that they have doubts about sexuality in adolescence? Don’t worry, I know that talking about sex with your children is not easy, especially considering that sexuality has always been considered a taboo subject. In adolescence, there are several factors that influence the determination of each person’s sexuality. Hormones, curiosity, intense sensuality, and inexperience as to what should be considered romantic love or explicit sex make this stage especially confusing for teens. For this reason, in this post I will tell you how to talk to your adolescent about sexuality so that you help him / her recognize between which margins he / she should act. Read on to find out more!


Sexuality in the technological world

At present, adolescents are constantly exposed – between 6 am and 7 am (Mass Media Influences Sexuality. 2011) – to suggestive or explicit sexual representations, either through social networks, the Internet or any other means they consume. This, added to their lack of experience, makes them have as a reference and want to reproduce certain sexual models or certain performances in sex that can be far from reality.

In addition, although the arrival of technology in our day to day has meant an improvement in terms of access to information, it has also brought about the breaking of certain limits that are necessary.

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These are some topics that you have to talk to them about:

  • Online grooming (cyber bullying or online sexual abuse): it is important that you inform your adolescent child of the existence of online abusers that can be found on the internet and how to identify them.
  • They will be anonymous people posing as a minor.
  • They will ask for photos or explicit content.
  • They will try to isolate you from your environment.
  • Cyberbullying with sexting: 1 in 3 adolescents have practiced sexting at some point, so it is essential that you address this issue. What should you say to try to prevent it?
  • The images could later be used to harass or extort money from them. You can put an example so that they can identify when it is happening.
  • The images could end up in the hands of third parties, and could be used without your consent on photo websites, pornographic ads, etc.
  • The images can end up in the hands of pedophiles.

Peer pressure

It is natural that in adolescence, children choose and focus on people around them as role models in their sexual life. This, coupled with the need to fit in with their gang, often results in peer pressure. Here you need to talk about:

  • Act as they are, without feeling pressured by anyone in your group.
  • The courage to say “no” to situations that cause them discomfort or danger.
  • The need to set limits and not try to satisfy another person when they are not prepared to face a situation.
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The toxic behaviors of a relationship

Movies, series and even music (such as reggaeton) have made many adolescents normalize certain toxic behaviors. An example of this is jealousy, possessiveness or emotional dependence – oh, how much damage romantic movies have done! For this reason, it is essential that you talk about the red flags that you must learn to identify in a relationship, such as being bombarded with messages and calls, pressuring you to have sex, preventing you from spending time with your people or requiring you to dress in a certain way.

Don’t forget to emphasize at the end of the conversation that exploring their sexuality (setting their own limits) can be a nice way to get to know themselves, we don’t want them to fear them either! And remember: even if teenagers prefer to talk about sex with their circle of friends, at the end of the day parents are a role model for them, even if it is difficult for them to admit it openly. Let’s get comfortable and be open to dialogue, without judging your child!

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How to talk to your child about sexuality in adolescence

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Catherine Coaches