How to prevent your children from being victims of sexual abuse – Nationals – ABC Color

There is child sexual abuse with physical contact or without physical contact, and there are different ways for this to happen. When most people think of sexual abuse, they immediately think that there was some kind of physical contactBut it’s not always like this.

Prevention of sexual abuse begins at home

Tahbou mentions that the prevention of sexual abuse starts from a very young age and at home.

“I ask you: how do you teach your son to cross the street? How do you teach him that it is dangerous and that there are steps to take before crossing? You probably start talking about this as soon as they start walking and go for a walk around the neighborhood.

You don’t give him explicit and literal information like: “Look my son, if an author steps on you, you DIE, you’re going to be crushed!” You probably don’t say this to a 3 or 5 year old. On the contrary, from the moment he begins to walk, you tell him little by little that we are walking along the path, and as he understands more, you give him the tools and explain how to cross,” he said.

It’s not having a single conversation and then you let him cross the street alone. There are many conversations over the years. Likewise, the prevention of sexual abuse at home begins. It begins with age-appropriate information and there are several moments in everyday life in which we explain and give tools.

The importance of sex education

A very good way to start when they are little (and it can be done since they are newborns), is to talk to them with the anatomically correct names of their genitals.

Children who know the names of their genitalia are more protected. They are children who have part of the necessary tools so that they can tell you if they are ever in an abusive situation, or even in a medical emergency.

The lawyer states that you can start teaching her the names when you change her diaper. For example, if you have a girl, instead of saying “I’m going to clean your butt”, you can say “I’m going to clean your vulva”.

Or if he is older and does not wear a diaper, you can use the moment when he takes a bath or when he is going to clean his genitals after doing his business, etc. These are appropriate times to start teaching them these words.

In addition to talking to him with the anatomically correct names of his genitals, we can also add that these body parts are only touched when we go to sanitize or for medical reasons when we go to the doctor with daddy or mommy.

Mom and Dad always present

It is important to emphasize that the doctor will always be either daddy or mommy because there are perpetrators who play a game where they are the doctor and take advantage of this context to abuse children.

For this reason, it is important to highlight that when it is something medical, daddy or mommy will always be there. Here you can also add that if someone touches these private parts, you can say: “NO! There is no touching! And you tell mommy or daddy that they tried to touch your private parts”.

It is important that you maintain a relaxed and natural atmosphere when you talk about these topics. Many children do not say that they have been abused because they feel that they are going to be judged, they feel that mommy and daddy are going to be angry, that they are going to be very sad or that they are going to scold them.

For this reason it is extremely important that at home we promote a space where the child feels like talking about genitals, private parts, etc. does not cause tension.

“I must mention that many parents are concerned about this because they think that, if we promote a home like this, the children will be more curious about sexuality, and the scientific evidence does not show this,” Tahbou points out.

Children develop a natural curiosity about their bodies whether or not they know the correct names, whether or not it is discussed at home.

The difference is that when we cover it at home, you are making sure that your child comes to you with any questions or any situation instead of getting information on the internet or from other friends.

It is better that they go to mom or dad to give them adequate information and not to Google where there is a high probability that they will end up exposed to pornographic pages.

There are many other important points, such as:

  • How do abusers choose their victims?
  • What characteristics do they look for in children and their families?
  • How do you convince a child to keep the abuse a secret and how can we combat this as parents?
  • How do we teach our children to identify irregular situations before the actual sexual abuse occurs?

The Lic. Yakara Tahbou, A graduate of Texas A&M University points out that child sexual abuse can occur with or without physical contact with the abuser.

Child sexual abuse with and without contact attention!

Examples of child sexual abuse with contact can be:

• Kisses on the mouth or on the body.

• Touch or stimulate the boy’s or girl’s genitals.

• Have the child touch and interact with the other person’s private parts.

Also considered “non-contact” abuse:

• Forcing the child to touch and stimulate his own genitals while the other person looks at him.

• Forcing the child to witness another person stimulate their private parts.

• Forcing the child to view sexual acts both in person and in pornography.

The professional points out that something very important to keep in mind is that one type of sexual abuse is not necessarily “worse” than another or will have more repercussions on the child’s life than another. There are many factors that determine the degree of repercussion in the life of the child and throughout his development.

In Paraguay, 80% of abuse occurs in the family environment

Having already understood this, we are going to emphasize that, in Paraguay, 80% of child sexual abuse are given in the familiar surroundingsas reported by Ministry of Children and Adolescents in 2021.

Child sexual abuse very rarely occurs with people who are not in the immediate family environment. In fact, the organization specializing in the prevention of sexual abuse “Darkness to Light” records that the younger the child, the more likely the abuser is a family member or someone very close to the family.

Unfortunately, sexual abuse occurs by older cousins, uncles, grandfathers, stepfathers, stepmothers, priests, teachers, etc. Nobody is exempt. Therefore, as parents, it is our duty to know this information so that we can do a better job of keeping our little ones safer.

These questions and more I answer in the workshop How to prevent sexual abuse from home? for parents of children from 0 to 7 years old this Saturday May 7th.

Learn how to have these conversations with your children in a healthy, educational, and stress-free way to create an environment at home where no abuser sees your children as an “easy” victim.

Learn to give your children the tools so they know what to do if they find themselves alone in irregular situations.

Informed Parents = Safer Kids. For more information you can contact 0982 200 556.

We want to give thanks to the author of this short article for this outstanding content

How to prevent your children from being victims of sexual abuse – Nationals – ABC Color