How to avoid painful anal sex? – Vibrations Blog

Our certified sexologists in Vibrations We will share everything you need to know to prevent anal sex from being painful and you can fully enjoy this practice in a pleasant and healthy way.


One of the most controversial practices in sex is anal sex. Some call it dirty and what comes out there, does not have to enter; others associate it directly with pain and mistrust – both with himself and with the sexual partner. But the reality is that there is vast misinformation and myths about the anal sex, facilitating an unhealthy, unsafe and painful practice.

Our certified sexologists in Vibrations We will share everything you need to know to prevent anal sex from being painful and you can fully enjoy this practice in a pleasant and healthy way.

Why does anal sex hurt?

Something that we repeat a lot in sex therapy is: “If anal sex hurts, it’s not being done right”. And it is true: any sexual practice in the anal area does not generate pain if it is practiced in a healthy and pleasant way. Not during penetration with the penis.

As we have said before, misinformation and sexual education based on heteropatriarchal premises – such as the porno mainstream– have caused the practice to be anal sex in a risky and painful way. For this reason, it is very common to find people in the emergency room with objects that should not be introduced into the body inside the anus; such as a Buzz Light Year doll with open wings, fruits or vegetables such as a cucumber or a banana, glass bottles, a bottle of hairspray and even a television remote that, when sitting on the sofa, entered by itself.

It is important to point out that these types of practices are, in addition to being painful, very risky; since they can damage the muscle tissue and fibers of the pelvic floor responsible for preventing dysfunctions such as: urinary and fecal incontinence, pain when defecating, prolapses, among others.

Thus, there is a high incidence of a painful anal sex if it is practiced from ignorance and is copied from films that are negligent with the sexual health of the people involved. Since it is not the same to practice anal sex from pleasure and education, than from fear, ignorance and insecurity – the latter, yes, is what causes the painful anal sex–.


❗️KEY DATA: Lmisinformation and a sex education based on heteropatriarchal premises – such as the porno mainstream– have caused the practice to be anal sex in a risky and painful way.


What can you do to avoid painful anal sex?

First of all – and above all for avoid painful anal sex– It is important to understand how the physiognomy of the body works – mainly in the anal area. Currently it is known that there are different types of sphincters, the organs that allow us to keep meeting our physiological needs in optimal functioning and state:

  • external sphincter, which is a striated muscle that allows exit –and entry– voluntarily;
  • internal esfinter, which is a smooth muscle and involuntary reaction – not controlled at will – that supports the external sphincter in the tasks of expelling fecal matter, to occlude the anal opening to prevent the entry of objects that could damage the intestinal walls, and to stop the passage of both gases and liquid stools.

Generally speaking, the anal area has a significant amount of nerve endings; such as the inferior anal nerves, the pudendal nerve, and the perineal nerve. So this area is usually VERY sensitive to stimuli. That is, if it is stimulated properly and pleasantly, the pleasure is usually unique and intense; But if it is stimulated without knowing the rhythm and the ways – for example, wanting to penetrate without having stimulated manually or orally – it can be very painful.

The external sphincter can be taught to dilate voluntarily, since, as we have said, it is a muscle that is controlled at will. So the internal stimulus needs to be properly stimulated to involuntarily allow the passage of a finger, an anal toy, or a penis.

Remember that the area is very sensitive due to the nerve endings in the area, so if any residual fecal matter suddenly comes out – it is VERY normal and it is enough to put a towel on the bed to guarantee not to stain the sheets.


BONUS: Anal sex: tips to start enjoying this practice


First step to anal sex: previous diet and anal enemas

In case you want to avoid stimulating the nerve endings too much to find yourself with fecal remains later, it is important to contemplate the first steps: a diet rich in fiber and anal enemas.

First of all, in case you are preparing a date with a happy ending stimulating the anal area, we recommend that throughout the day you choose a light menu rich in fiber. This will help prevent a bad stomach, uncomfortable inflammation or unnecessary gas at these times.

Second, an anal lavative or enema. This will help clean the fecal remains that are in the anus, preventing them from coming out when having a penetration.

anal lavatory | vibration blog


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Lubricants to avoid painful anal sex

Generally speaking, there are three types of sexual lubricants: water-based, glycerin-based, and silicone-based. Each of these types of lubricants has a specific function; such as the silicone lubricant is for the exclusive use of anal sex and people who suffer from vaginal dryness.

This is because the silicone lubricant provides a special layer to prevent wounds that can trigger sexually transmitted infections – ITS -. For this reason, it is important to consider having a silicone lubricant on the bedside table if you consider practice anal sex that day.

Certified experts in Sexology recommend an anal lubricant that allows you to feel softness and muscle relaxation – without numbing the area. For example, the anal lube Oh! Cannabis holy mary. It is an anal moisturizer whose properties allow the pelvic muscles of the anal area to relax and dilate, facilitating penetration into the external sphincter. It is a soft but effective anal lubricant made in Catalonia.

anal cannabis lubricant | vibration blog

Erotic toys for anal sex

When we talk about stimulating the anal area, it is very important to understand that there are erotic toys exclusively for this practice. To identify anal sex toys, just look for those that have a stop to prevent sphincter suction, and have to arrive at the emergency room with a television remote, a Buzz Light Year toy with open wings, a glass bottle or a bottle of mother’s hairspray.

Before trying an anal penetration with a penis, it is much more worthwhile to start stimulating slowly and gradually. For instance:

      • Begin with a gentle massage on the buttocks and anus – without penetrating. With a silicone lubricant, go just stroking, playing, licking.
      • Plug anales –Also known as anal dilators–. They help train the muscle to gradually expand and discover the self-managed pleasure of the anal area while stimulating the clitoris. Find out more: Yes to anal plugs for all bodies!
      • Thai balls. This erotic toy is ideal when you are enjoying anal sex and vaginal penetration by directly stimulating the clitoris. So when you are about to have an orgasm, take out the Thai balls to increase the intensity of the orgasm. Pleasure guaranteed. Find out more: What are Thai balls for me?
      • Prostate stimulators. In the case of people with a penis, direct stimulation of the prostate can guarantee one of the most intense erotic pleasures. Find out more: How to use a prostate stimulator?

anal plug | vibration blog


BONUS: Is it advisable to remove the hair from the anus?


Practical tips to enjoy anal sex

It is important to remember that anal sex should not hurt, because if it hurts, it is not being done well. For this reason, we consider some tips and recommendations when it comes to getting down to it:

      • Do not keep trying penetration if it is evident that the person being penetrated is hurting. The more it is forced, the more damage and tearing it causes. There are other types of anal stimulation in addition to penetration, such as rimming or manual stimulation in the external area of ​​the anus.
      • Use only erotic toys for anal use – avoid introducing objects that are not designed for it – those that do not have a stop.
      • If you are going to stimulate the prostate, it is best to insert a clean finger with short nails. If you want, you can also use a condom to protect the area from tearing the other from inserting your finger into the anus.
      • Encourage the after-care after anal sex increases the feeling of intimacy, security and confidence. Find out more: What is after-face and why do you need to apply it after sex?

The objective of anal sex is to enjoy this practice, especially if it is an area with excessively sensitive nerve endings and, if properly stimulated, very pleasant. Say goodbye to taboos and start enjoying self-managing and liberating pleasure.

Author of the note: Sexologist MJ Castañeda Aguirre

We wish to thank the writer of this article for this amazing material

How to avoid painful anal sex? – Vibrations Blog


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