Sexology is a young science. Very young even since it was born in the middle of the last century in its modern form. The one that the sex therapists use today in their cabinets.
What I am going to tell you here poses the basics of modern sexology. That is to say that all the concepts of sexuality find their origin there.
Discover with this podcast the amazing and controversial experiences from Harry Harlow.
Click on “Play” to listen to it or right click here then click on “Record” to receive it directly on your device (for example to listen to it on your smartphone).
If you share this article, you will also participate in this learning experience of sexuality! 😉
Text transcript of the podcast
Hello and welcome to the blog sexologue.com
I am Matthieu Tison and today we are going to talk about the fundamental key concept of sexology, the one that will allow us to understand how sexology and human sexuality work, how it is constructed, how we go from a nascent sexuality to a sexuality blooming.
And then it will also allow us to understand how sex problems arise, for example the decrease in libido of sexual desire or erection problems to name only the most famous
So if I chose this topic today it is not by chance because it is my very first podcast and I really wanted to give something important that can serve as a basis for the long series of podcasts that will follow.
An experience in the 1950s in the United States
To walk you through this key concept, let me tell you a story. It will present precisely this basis of human sexuality.
And this story is so important that it’s the very first thing my sex teacher told us when I returned to college to do my sexology studies and it is from this story that the science – because it is a real science – of modern sexology.
And this story is that of HARRY HARLOW.
So who is this gentleman? He is someone who had experiments in the 1950s in the United States.
You will see he was not very nice: he had social experiences with monkeys and he was not super nice to them. It must be said that some think that he took a certain pleasure in it.
In short, that will not be the debate today, we are going to look at what he did and what we can deduce from it.
So this Mr. HARLOW was experimenting with social deprivation on baby monkeys. That is to say that the baby monkey was born (it was macaques it seems to me) and it isolated it from all social contact. Then he experimented with them.
Moreover, if the subject interests you, just type HARRY HARLOW on Youtube for plenty of videos and explanations on the experiments he was leading and the conclusions he drew from them.
Among all his conclusions there is one that interests us. These monkeys were therefore deprived of all social contact from birth until, for example, their sexual maturity.
Well, if we took a male monkey who had undergone this treatment and put him in the presence of a female in heat, what do you think was happening?
Nothing was happening. Nothing at all. He was vaguely annoyed to see a new congener but he did not mate.
The experience could have ended there but it is much more interesting than that. Because this Mr. HARLOW made another group of monkeys which was in contact for him a few hours a day with another monkey. Who came from a “normal” social group, without social deprivation.
So every day, a monkey with social deprivation was in contact with a monkey who had not had social deprivation.
Well, imagine that with this other group there was no problem. That is to say that by repeating the experiment with a female in heat, he mated.
Sexuality, learning through social experiences
So we can deduce something pretty crazy from it, which is that sexuality is a social experience.
In apes initially by this experiment then HARRY HARLOW extended this theory to human behavior.
What this teaches us is that sexuality is not natural, on the contrary it is entirely constructed.
Another way to put it is that our sexuality is the sum of the sexual experiences that we have already had.
That is, if you have no sexual, social or personal interaction at all like those poor monkeys in isolation, you are not going to develop sexuality.
On the other hand, if you have positive sexual experiences, you will benefit from fulfilling sexuality.
On the contrary, if you accumulate negative experiences, you risk developing sexual problems.
Such as a lack of interest in sexuality which can result in a loss of libido, erection difficulties, ejaculation that will be premature or difficulty reaching orgasm. These few examples are also the most frequent requests in sexology.
So we understand that all our sexuality is learned from A to Z.
And this sexual learning will be done with all of our sexual experiences.
For example you heard something about sexuality and you were not aware of this new information. Since this is your only source of learning, you will take this for granted.
To illustrate this let’s say that a friend or friend tells you “fellatio is not done, it’s not good, it’s degrading” and that you have never heard anything else about fellatio, you will say that your interlocutor must be right. Because you have no other information, you say to yourself that it must be true.
You have a first sexual experience with oral sex. Then then you are going to have your own sexual experiences.
If you have a good first sexual experience then a second, a third, etc … You will be off to a good start, you will be able to develop a fulfilling sexuality.
On the other hand, if during your first 10 sexual intercourse you have had 5 or 6 not good experiences see that it went very badly, you risk developing sexual problems.
All of this leads us to conclude two things: good news and bad news.
Human sexuality demands to invest in it
The bad news is that sex isn’t natural. It is up to you to build it, your sexuality will become what you have experienced, what you are going through and what you are going to experience.
So your sexuality will never fall on you by chance and that we are subject to the vagaries of our environment and our experiences. If we are unlucky, if we do it wrong or if we have bad experiences, we will have a sexuality that will be problematic.
In fact, in lower mammals such as mice, sexuality is of the order of the reflex. You know there is this pheromone story and in this case sexual training is not necessary. They climb on each other, they copulate and it’s over, period, no matter what experiences these little mice have had before. It has absolutely no influence on their sexual behavior and their ability to copulate.
On the other hand, it demands work from human beings to build our sexuality.
The richness of our sexuality grows all the time and at any age
The good news now!
Well, as it is an apprenticeship, it’s great! Because it means that we can always learn and improve our sexuality.
And that’s great news, provided you have the right tools and the right references. To also know how sexuality works, to put aside your received ideas.
As well as knowing how to put into perspective the experiences that we have already lived before to add happier and more fun new ones. All this to create a fulfilling sexuality.
The sex therapist gives you the right tools
So here is my mission: to give you the right information so that you can fend for yourself like grown-ups and grown-ups.
To begin with, I made a map for you of the misconceptions about sexuality that I hear most often.
I made about thirty of them that you will find by clicking here: the most common misconceptions about sex.
To help you get good information on erection, I also have free video training available to you. Click here to access it: the free “control your erection” training.
As well as a Pdf guide to develop women’s libido, it’s here: the PDF guide “Boost your libido”.
I tell you very soon 😉
We want to say thanks to the author of this post for this outstanding web content
How an experiment created modern sexology – le blog sexologue
We have our social media pages here and additional related pages here.https://catherinecoaches.com/related-pages/