Have your first time → 9 tips to be serene

The first steps in sexuality can impress, yet the goal is above all to do yourself good. Here are some tips to make the most of your first time!

tip # 1: the age of your first time doesn’t matter so much

There is not “a” right age for sex. As soon as you feel ready or ready, comfortable with a partner, you can go!

The right age is when you really want it.

However, it is important to specify from a legal point of view that in France, the sexual majority is fixed at 15 years. We consider that from this age, we are able to give informed consent.

This does not mean, however, that intercourse is prohibited between minors under the age of 15, rather that the law remains unclear on this subject, not prohibiting them directly. The situation is then assessed on a case-by-case basis, if there is a report.

tip 2: do you have to wait until you have your period to have sex for the first time?

Yes and no, in the sense that periods are one of the signs of puberty, and a non-pubescent body is not made for having sex.

That being said, some people have a very late first period (at 16, for example), and may be ready, both physically and mentally, to start having sex before.

Likewise, some women never get their period in their life, and that doesn’t prevent them from having sex.

Finally, if you are wondering, even if it is not always the most comfortable, it is quite possible to have sex and therefore have your first time during your period, as explained in this article.

Be careful, if you have sex during your period, it is important to continue to protect yourself against STDs and STIs (the risk of transmission is increased through the blood) as well as to think about contraception. Because yes, even having sex at this point in the cycle there is a risk of pregnancy!

tip 3: make sure you want to have sex for the first time

If the first time is not a question of age but of desire, it is necessary to ensure that the desire comes from oneself and not from external pressure.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend tells you that he or she absolutely wants to do it, but you feel it’s pushing you a bit, don’t go. If your partner loves you, he or she will know how to wait as long as it takes, then you will be more comfortable, and everything will end up better.

Otherwise, it means that person is not respecting your consent. It is sometimes difficult to say no, but your desire must take precedence over the pressure placed on you.

Likewise, you can feel pressure to have sex when you feel like it’s a checkbox to get cool, or just to be like everyone else.

All of these reasons are not good reasons to have sex. The only good reason is to want it with a partner who shares that desire!

tip 4: be honest with your partner

At the beginning of sexuality, it happens that you feel uncomfortable with the idea of ​​telling your partner that you are a virgin. This lie doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it pays to be honest.

Your darling in the know will be able to pay much more attention to your feelings during the first reports and will have all the keys in hand to better understand your reactions if everything does not go as planned.

And most importantly, if she’s someone you trust, she shouldn’t be judging you on this, there’s no shame in being a virgin!

tip 5: protect yourself for the first time!

Obviously, sexuality revolves a lot around pleasure, but it is important to remember that in straight sex, it is possible to get pregnant the first time. It is therefore absolutely necessary choose contraception.

Several are possible, such as the pill, the implant or the condom. The latter is interesting that it is a contraceptive that requires no prescription and has no side effects.

In addition, the “condom” not only protects against pregnancy, but also against STDs / STIs. Even a virgin, it is possible to have some without knowing it!

This is why, whatever your sexual orientation, you absolutely must protect yourself or get tested to ensure that you do not transmit anything between you.

tip 6: don’t feel pressured into waxing

Depilate the pubis or any other part of the body is not necessary before having sex for the first time. If you like your hair, your partner has to accept you like that. He or she may have preferences, but should not force them on you.

However, if you feel more comfortable with your hairless body, it doesn’t hurt to get rid of it.

Anaïs recounts on this subject having made her first time 10 years ago, when she was 16 years old. At the time, she decided to “take it all off”, convinced that it was the right thing to do to please her boyfriend. She laughs thinking about it.

“This first time, it was a big step into the unknown for me so I attached myself to this waxing to better experience my nudity in front of my boyfriend. It’s still not trivial at 16 to find yourself naked in front of someone! “

To help you, you can also read our article “Do we really choose to wax?”Keeping in mind that the most important thing is to feel good about yourself!

tip 7: to love your first time, don’t focus on penetration

In sexuality, there are plenty of first times and none should be more important than another.

Thus, making love does not necessarily mean practicing penetrating a penis into a vagina. This practice is certainly very common, but we can also have a sexuality without. Caresses and oral sex can be just as intimate and bring just as much pleasure.

This question of the first time through penetration raises many issues:

  • It only works in heterosexual couples (which would suppose that homosexuals would then remain virgins all their life)

  • She puts penetration on a pedestal (practice which only makes 18% of women enjoy)

  • She therefore puts the rest of the sexual practices in the background as if they were “worth” less …

Nelli, interviewed for this article, is often upset when it comes to this topic:

“I have always suffered from vaginismus and penetration has long been impossible for me. Yet I have a sex life, punctuated by many equally important first times! “

tip 8: if it hurts you, don’t force it!

If many people report having felt a little pain during their first experiences of penetrations, this should not make you suffer, and especially the discomfort should not last more than a few intercourse!

The key to happiness is often found in taking your time and being relaxed. Envy allows for natural lubrication, and the vagina is a muscle that can contract when you’re afraid. If you want to, feel comfortable and above all take your time, everything should be fine.

Danielle Hassoun, gynecologist, explains that even if rare anatomical cases make penetration uncomfortable or even impossible, in most of the patients she sees for this kind of question, the problem lies elsewhere:

“A lot of young women are not comfortable with sexuality, with the very idea of ​​having sex, and in fact it contracts the vagina and it hurts. My advice is to sincerely ask yourself if you really want this sexuality. “

Sex can have performative sides, but the real thing to love making love is to want it and to communicate with your partner about HIS desires.

Then ask him or her how he or she likes to be petted. It is possible that your sweetheart does not know it (especially if it is the beginning of your sexuality), so try different ways of doing it, also encourage the other to test on you more or less supported caresses.

Above all, allow yourself the right to be ignorant or not to want sometimes. It’s okay and putting pressure on yourself is pointless. Have fun, and your sexuality will flourish naturally!

And if you still have questions about sexuality, we recommend the site On s’exprime, created under the aegis of Public health France, which answers many questions on the subject!

We want to thank the author of this write-up for this remarkable web content

Have your first time → 9 tips to be serene

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