Happy ending

Here we are again a few days to close the year. And inadvertently you look back and do a quick review:

  • JobI will call this section “reconcile as you can.”
  • Family, those good grandparents and good grandmothers who save you from so many.
  • Good children and good sashijas, And when have they grown so much?

And more things, challenges, goals that you set yourself to achieve this year, those extra kilos that you promised yourself that you would lose before the summer and couple … Partner.

And in these moments of balance you do not know if the “couple” section comes out positive or you are in the red. Are you or are you? You don’t even know, because with this crazy rhythm that you have, there is no need for more.

Breeding: exciting and exhausting

And yes, we have a crazy rhythm. Combine the work of both, the schedules of the good daughters and good kisses, cover basic needs (that there is food made at the time it is due, that there is shampoo or detergent, that there is clean clothes – there is a mini point if it is also ironed – and more and more and more ), attend to the requests of the school … When the night comes, most days, what reaches the sofa or the bed are two piltrafillas (because on the other side there are also theirs) who only want to put a flat brain or directly sleep .

Parenting is exciting, but tiring. Tiring even. Raising brings us together and separates us at the same time. It unites us in the common task of making that little being that has come into our lives to move forward, grow up, have an education, overcome colds and kindergarten viruses … It unites us in those looks of pride when we see that it is overcome and he manages to walk alone, speak, write, read, ride a bicycle … He unites us when, from the edge of his bed, we see him sleeping, that angelic face that touches our deepest and most sensitive fibers, that moment in which we forget all the mischief that has been messing us up throughout the day and we can only feel that we love him with all our soul.

But it also drives us away. It creates deep divisions, all the more the more separated our ideas are around health, education, parenting methods … Baby bottle or teat? Purees or BLW? High-tech daycare or a small one that’s like an extension of the family? Public, private or concerted school? Bilingual or not? Religious or not? Every topic that comes up around good children and good mahijas has the potential to create bitter discussions, to create gaps that seem insurmountable. But above all, parenting forces us to establish a relentless relay system that reduces to a minimum the time we can have as a couple.

¿Happy ending the happy ending?

These days I have read Isaac Rosa’s book, “Happy ending.” It is a well-written book, one of those in which you immerse yourself in history and the words become mere instruments that catapult you into fiction: A couple that has just separated is exchanging messages that run through their entire relationship. A novel in which all those day-to-day things that keep us apart as a couple are described, unintentionally and without even knowing it; in which the author describes why sometimes a happy ending is reached, instead of reaching the “happy ending” of stories and romance novels. It is a bittersweet novel, as it cannot be otherwise with the subject it deals with, but also that it gives us clues, many clues, about some dangerous points in any relationship, in the parenting stage.

The couple: high-level priority

The parenting stage is a stage with the days numbered: there will come a day when good children and good kashijas, those who have been the center of our schedule, the reason for our careers from one side to the other, the origin of a thousand and an argument, they will go away. Do not worry, Malasmadres, if everything happens as usual, first they will have to overcome adolescence and with it, as the great Capdevila said, the idea of ​​those adorable little ones leaving will seem good … even urgent.

And we will once again be two, only two, the same two who originally embarked on the adventure. And for that reason, if at that moment you want to continue looking for each other, finding each other and recognizing each other, now, while the good children and the good kashijas are still at home imposing their schedules and needs, we must make the couple relationship one of our highest level priorities.

Being able to communicate, to take care of each other, to desire each other, to meet and have our time are pillars of every relationship. Each one will have its unique and unrepeatable way of materializing them, each couple will have to find what their forms and formulas are.

This is my wish for all Malamadres in the new year that begins: that we are able to find a way to take care of our partner. And that is why in these days when we think about the objectives of the new year, I invite you to put one that has to do with this matter: spend a weekend the two of you, block a couple of hours a week to be able to be together , go to the cinema or dinner once a week, a month …? I invite you to think and share those goals for the new year.

* You can follow her on @atajou and on the website of Sexorum.

What are the objectives that you propose to yourselves with your partners, Malasmadres?

We wish to thank the writer of this short article for this incredible content

Happy ending

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