You are not not sure of your erection.
Before a sexual act you always have that ulterior motive that tells you that there is a risk that you will not be able to hard enough.
During foreplay you are hyper-focused on building your erection. You have fear that your partner is starting to see that you are not toughening up enough.
Or your penis is perfectly hard then after the penetration here it starts to soften.
This is often what men in consultation describe to me.
And it has a name: performance anxiety. It is the phenomenon that causes your thoughts to be directed only to the fear of not having a sufficient erection.
You can guess the rest: this performance anxiety is a formidable erection breaker.
Indeed these jostling thoughts will cause a loop in your mind that will end up stressing you.
Now try to have an erection under stress… Impossible.
Because stress generates a nervous phenomenon that goes automatically cut all erection processes.
How to be confident in your erection?
First step: understand performance anxiety
To have confidence in your erection you need eliminate this performance anxiety.
You have to stop thinking about having a hard-on or that you’re not going to be able to. Because it causes this stress that I was talking about which will prevent you from controlling your erection.
But our brain is quite poorly designed when it comes to not to think something.
I’ll give you an example and for that I’ll read your mind!
But first of all, I order you, right now, to not to think to a blue car.
What are you thinking of suddenly?
To one blue car. I read your mind 😉
Indeed it is impossible for our mind to not to think something. Our brain simply does not conceptualize absence, emptiness or nothingness.
So the fact of saying to yourself “I must not relax or I must not stress to have a good erection” goes on the contrary focus on those negative thoughts that are going to work against you.
You are going to loop on this idea of an insufficient erection which will in fact interfere with your erection.
How in this case to get rid of these negative ideas, this anxiety about performance, this blue car?
Well it’s very simple, just think of something else.
And yes our brain is decidedly very stupid: it cannot not to think to something as we have just demonstrated but in addition he can only think of only one thing at a time!
Step two: destroy performance anxiety
To destroy this performance anxiety, these negative thoughts, you have to focus your mind on something else.
Let’s go back to our example: to stop thinking about a blue car, you simply go paste you another strong image in the brain. For example a pink elephant.
That’s it ! Now your thoughts are occupied with that other image and you have stopped focusing on the previous one.
Concretely, you are now going to replace the negative sentences circling in your head with another strong thought.
Warning ! We will take this opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. You will focus on thoughts that will not only replace performance anxiety, but these new images go in addition promote erection by themselves.
These new thoughts are your fantasies.
You will focus on what gives you pleasure, what you want to do with your partner during your sex.
The effect is then twofold: you automatically start thinking of something other than negative thoughts. Therefore they disappear. Also having exciting ideas will promote your erection because you stimulate your erotic imagination.
You bring fuel to your erection.
Third step: create and develop your fantasies
The problem that I often encounter in consultations is that the men who come to see me have no or very few fantasies.
But you understand that for this technique to work you must have a real library exciting pictures or scenarios.
To create this ass encyclopedia let’s first explain what a fantasy is.
It is a thought that will cause an erection.
So when I say erection here, don’t bother trying explode your underpants by bandaging like crazy. No, a slight increase in penis size is sufficient. If it’s more so much the better, but that’s not your goal in this specific case.
So we can easily understand that a fantasy can be everything and anything.
In popular language it is true that a fantasy is seen as a particularly exotic activity that one has little chance of achieving.
By the way, if you want an example of this kind of original erotic thought I advise you to read Enzo’s story by clicking here.
Or a fantasy it’s not just that. It’s just an exciting thought. So it can be a memory of a sexual relationship that you have already experienced, a sexual position, a scenario, a part of the body of your partner (or your office colleague), etc, etc …
That’s all you want as long as it causes a beginning erection.
Now that you understand what a fantasy is, you just need to delve into your imagination to develop the ones you already have.
Then I advise you to create some again to be well armed the next time you have sex.
How to create new fantasies you will tell me? For example, you can choose scenarios or images that you like in your imagination. If you don’t have enough ideas, you can also help yourself to supports: erotic books, erotic comics or internet porn.
If you choose porn, I recommend that you listen to my podcast on the subject. Because I explain the disadvantages and the advantages of this support so you will be able to benefit from it.
Then just incorporate these new thoughts to masturbation and quickly they will become full-fledged fantasies.
Fourth step: take action!
Make it a goal now to always have sexual activity to offer to your partner.
You will achieve this by having as many fantasies as possible to offer that will quickly replace anxiety performance and give you an erection that you will be proud.
Personally I have the fantasy that you click on your mouse to Share this article 😉
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Fuel your erection: develop your fantasies Le Blog Sexologue
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