COUPLE THERAPY SHOULD WE GO? ▷ SEX and SEXUALITY Blog

Couples therapy: We are bad, We need it?

You’ve been on the tightrope for a while…

There is distance, coldness…

You come home and you look like roommates…

The passage of time is not improving things, but they are getting worse…

And when you talk, any small discrepancy ignites the flame of conflict.

Does this situation sound familiar to you? Perhaps the time has come to seek professional help: a Couple therapy.

What is the Couple?

Union of two individuals, two biographies, two personalities, under the shelter of an affective bond who decide to embark on a path together, a path that is not exempt from challenges and difficulties that we do not always know how to face (coexistence, personal spaces, paternity, work aspirations…) and all this without losing sight of the fact that “one plus one” has to add up to more than two.

It is curious how being the couple the most common way of life in our society (at least during a stage of it), we are not educated in being a “healthy couple” and we come to it with our “backpacks”, hoping that they will magically lighten by the simple fact of sharing them. And let’s be honest… If it’s already hard for us to take responsibility for our inner world, it will be difficult for us to take care of ourselves in addition to that of the other. That yes, and although it sounds like a cliché, the more balance there is in us, the better the conditions to be in a couple and the more we love ourselves, the more love we can give.

In this sense, couple therapists have an important mission:

Help in the process of self-knowledge of each individual and in the rtaking responsibility for your emotions

since in the couple, we tend to put the focus outside and blame the other for us feeling one way or another.

Phrases like: “You make me suffer”, “You drive me crazy”…

They are very common in couples, but they start from a wrong base: Nobody can make you suffer (in the same way that nobody can make you happy). Both feelings are the exclusive possession of one @ same @, or as the saying goes, “the one who wants does not hurt, but the one who can” (and that power is granted by you).

But let’s look at some other things that couples therapy can do for you:

  • you have communication problems: either because you do not understand each other with your partner and you argue frequently, or because communication is increasingly scarce, the Aidé’s couples therapy It will help you detect where the problem is and the necessary skills to solve it (self-control, assertiveness, empathy…)

  • There has been an infidelity: the “third persons” can be an indication that the relationship is broken, but also sometimes, they can be the turning point for the couple to evolve in a positive way, overcoming the crisis, leaving behind grudges and laying the foundations for a new relationship healthier and more satisfying for both.

  • You feel jealousy and mistrust: pathological jealousy is not a sign of love, but of possession and insecurity. Remember: “one only keeps what one does not tie (Jorge Drexler).

  • you are no longer passionate: We know that you are not always going to be like in the phase of falling in love or “transient mental insanity” But when you no longer want to share intimacy with your partner and this is also noticeable in bed, it is time to ask for help. It is important to identify what is behind it to rekindle the passion and not take the relationship for granted. Querid@s mí@s: You have to work it out!

  • You are going through a period of change: a new job, an illness or death, difficulties related to fertility, parenthood… Any situation that is a source of chronic stress can take its toll on the couple’s relationship.

  • You have doubts about whether to continue in the relationship: Perhaps in this case the approach is more individual than couple, but a couples therapist is the person who will be able to accompany you more completely in decision-making.

  • You are fine with your partner but you want to be better: Just as we remember the doctor when something hurts us, the figure of the couples therapist enlightens us when there are problems, but without a doubt, the best work is the one done from abundance. Being well, we want to be even better: it is a joy to work from this point, to reach what I call “the superlative couple”.

It would be very interesting to have an emotional education that from the very young helps us to manage our emotions and thus facilitate our interactions, especially those with a partner, but while this scenario arrives, couples therapists are here to inform, guide and accompany towards a full married life.

You dare?

Frequently Asked Questions about couple therapy

What is couples therapy?

It is a therapeutic accompaniment process that we can go to when we want to improve our relationship as a couple or when we feel that we lack personal resources to resolve marital differences. Our relationship doesn’t have to be in the ICU to go to therapy. In fact, this is usually more effective and enriching, when it is not reached in a “critical state”.

What is done in couples therapy?

First, the status of the relationship and its members is evaluated, to then establish a work plan in those problem areas or areas for improvement, and from that plan, provide the couple with skills for self-knowledge, for managing conflictive situations and ultimately, for the enrichment of their relationship.

Is couples therapy expensive?

This is very relative… How much is it worth to recover the connection in a relationship? How much would you pay to improve your conjugal day-to-day life? Couples therapy, like any other, is an investment in oneself and in a common project (not only financially, but also in time and effort). And it is expensive or cheap depending on who values ​​it. Regardless of this, the cost of the sessions usually ranges between 60 and 100 euros (depending on the professional, place, and way of planning the sessions)

When should you go to couples therapy?

Let’s see the most frequent reasons for consultation:

– You have communication problems
– There has been an infidelity
– You feel jealousy and mistrust
– You are no longer passionate about your partner and have sexual difficulties
– You are going through a period of change
– You have doubts about whether to continue in the relationship
– You are fine with your partner but you want to be better

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COUPLE THERAPY SHOULD WE GO? ▷ SEX and SEXUALITY Blog


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