We are often asked about the existence of foods that enhance sexual desire. about if “Is there something I can take to have a libido”. In our collective imagination, there is the idea that certain substances have aphrodisiac power: it is enough to take them to feel like “sex”.
But with sexual desire the thing is not so simple, since it depends on multiple factors of a different nature: physiological, experiential, cultural, psychological and relational.
Without questioning the fact that certain foods can have an energizing effect and that they can generate well-being, this is not enough for a person to have sexual desire. For a person, be it a woman, a man or a non-binary person, to feel like having sex, they have to “can” feel like having sex. And this means? well what to have sexual desire, it is crucial to have enjoyed sex before, to have built an idea of sex associated with a certain satisfaction… For those who have never experienced sexual relations with pleasure, or even for those who have experienced them with discomfort or displeasure, it is difficult to think that some magical product is going to make them want. Its not that easy.
Body and fitness influence libido, but not in such a simple way. Desire has much more to do with learning, experiences, emotions, intimacy and relationships, among other elements. Therefore, it would be of little use to eat oysters, chocolate or cinnamon (for example) to a person who has no sexual desire because he has never enjoyed sex, You haven’t had orgasms, you’re not attracted to your partner, or you’re experiencing a life crisis or depression.
I would like to point out that, when I speak of “sex”, I refer to both sex that involves the genitals (penetrations, intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) and that which does not involve the genitals, which is also sex and is also important. (caresses, kisses, bites, hickeys, playing, rubbing, whispering…). And it is important to be clear that sexual desire can materialize in many ways, that it is not only the desire for penetration, intercourse or genital contact, but it is also having the desire to want to snuggle with the partner, rubbing, caressing, kissing… incidentally or not to other things.
What’s more, not all people are the sameThey neither experience sexuality in the same way nor do they have the same interest in sex. There are many people for whom sex is not so important, many people for whom sex in its most genital sense does not have much of an incentive but nevertheless enjoys everything else a lot, there are people who do not have much interest in having sexual relations with their partners, or this interest only manifests itself in certain situations (when you are in love or there is a romantic bond). The asexual people they are an example.
The power of the placebo effect
Sometimes supposedly aphrodisiac substances could have a motivating effect driven by the placebo effect. If someone eats a food with the conviction that it will influence their sexual appetite, a positive influence could occur if this means that the person, convinced of this effect, begins to think about sex, mobilize erotic fantasies, imagine the situation, prepare for the occasion, get sexy, anticipate eplace it…that is, it may generate a certain desire not so much because of the substance itself as because the person is mentally predisposed to it.
There are no magic solutions
The tendency to believe that there are aphrodisiac substances or foods has a lot to do with the “desire” to have desire quickly. Many people look for magical, quick solutions that do not include personal work, just the opposite of what is required to improve low desire or hypoactive desire. In this sense, sexual therapy supposes a longer work, but more effective, because it implies learning.
If you have had sexual desire but that has changed, if you have less interest in having sex and that worries you, one of the best options is to consult a sexology professional.
Imagen by Divani Jayatileke
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Aphrodisiac foods, do they exist? – Lasexologia.com
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