6 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex When I Was Younger

Sex and intercourse can become challenging at any stage of life. But like everything, the more you practice, the better you get at it. There is also a level of confidence that improves with age: you are more aware of who you are as a person, hopefully you know your limits and also what your likes and dislikes are. This also extends to the types of sexual experiences you’ve had. Later in life you will realize that there is a set of values ​​and experiences that define the kind of sex you want, have and who you want as partners.

For me, this is a very important part of my sexual identity. I didn’t come out of the closet until I was twenty-nine. I was in graduate school at the time, meeting female-identified people, and combined with the subject I was studying and a supportive group of friends, it made me feel comfortable enough to express that side of myself. This experience gave me valuable insight into the kind of person I am, how I approached my sexuality and my identity in general. In this sense, this self-awareness helped me to identify the type of relationships and sexual partners that I sought.

Read below these 6 pieces of advice I would have given myself when I was younger.

experimenting is cool

Whether you’re hooking up with someone of the opposite sex for the first time, using a new toy to masturbate, or just trying something different in the bedroom, experimentation in all its forms is great. Don’t be afraid to try new things. This could happen on a small or large scale, but whatever it is, do what works for you. Experimentation should be fun and safe, but remember to always do it on your own terms.

know your limits

It is possible that you find yourself in a situation that is rising in tone or with a person that gives you a special morbidity at a specific moment, that is why it is important to know what your limits are. Talking about them before things get heated and heavy can help you avoid an awkward situation later on.

talking is important

Sometimes it’s easy to fall into bed with someone. Although it can be fun and exciting, you may be putting yourself in an unsafe situation. Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions about past sexual partners, recent STD and HIV testing, and other things you think are important to know. Knowledge is power. The more informed you are about your potential bed partner, it can help with what kind of sex you can or cannot have with them.

Don’t be forced to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

It’s exciting when you like someone and decide to take your relationship to a physical level. Even if you like the other person, one of the least sexy things they can do is pressure you into doing something they’re not comfortable with.

If you find yourself in that situation, take a second, tell them that’s not okay, and if they’re still pressuring you, walk away. It’s not worth compromising your level of comfort and safety for the other person’s pleasure.

It’s okay to change your mind

It’s okay to change your mind at any time and in any sexual situation you find yourself in. Being confident and feeling comfortable are the two most important things in any sexual encounter and in life. If something isn’t right, say so. Take a minute to assess what is going on and how you feel. If something still isn’t going right, walk away from the situation, call a friend, grab a cab, and do your best to get to a safe place.

your experience is yours

You are the owner of your life. Remember that you cannot compare yourself to other people, and what you think is what matters most. Your experiences are part of your decisions, and your sexual or life journey is a unique path that you must travel for yourself and you must not allow anyone to tell you otherwise.

Please note that the advice offered by Intimina may not be appropriate for your particular case. Always consult your doctor if you have specific concerns related to your health.

Original in English by Annie Irish

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6 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex When I Was Younger

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