For a man, the announcement of his girlfriend’s pregnancy is often a major upheaval. And the weeks / months that follow a source of many questions. Here are the main…
1) “I no longer recognize my wife, is this normal?”
A large number of future dads find that their partner changes during pregnancy. She usually so calm, composed, full of common sense, and not a hypochondriac for a penny, begins to “explode” for nothing, to worry about a trifle, to think only of her pregnancy and her procession of small ailments, and to be demanding or even unpleasant with them. Let them be reassured: all this is linked to hormones, and fortunately temporary.
2) “Is it really reasonable to have conceived this baby?”
Having a child is often the result of a long discussion. Even if the couple thinks they have acquired stability in love, even if each has a profession that allows them to secure the future financially, doubts are common. “Isn’t it madness to have taken the plunge?”, “Will we be responsible enough?”, “Will we be able to go out, see our friends, travel like before?”
3) “Will my baby be normal?”
Many future fathers ask themselves questions about the development of their baby: is the fetus developing normally? Do the examinations and in particular the ultrasounds carried out during pregnancy make it possible to detect most malformations and serious illnesses?
4) “How can I help my partner during pregnancy?”
Today’s dads want to get more involved in their partner’s pregnancy in a concrete way. Sometimes frustrated at not being able to feel the baby in their womb like their wives, they get involved in other ways. They often have many ideas: relieve her of household chores, let her rest, accompany her to prenatal visits and ultrasounds, participate in one or two birth preparation sessions… They are also more attentive than usually and don’t hesitate to massage his legs and back. It’s their way of experiencing pregnancy a little more concretely.
5) “Can we make love during pregnancy?”
This is also a question that torments future dads. After the first trimester, where the mother-to-be is often nauseous, things, fortunately, work out. But are intimate relationships really safe for the baby?
6) “Will I know how to love this baby?”
Even if future dads want their child, project themselves with him, are happy to know that their partner is pregnant, they sometimes have trouble realizing that they are going to be dads. They are often surprised to see how much their partner already loves and protects their child, as if he had already been born, while they still do not feel anything in particular. They are happy for her and for their couple, but wonder when the paternal instinct will appear. For some, you have to wait for the first ultrasound. For others, it’s a bit longer…
7) “How are we going to choose the mode of care: collective nursery, childminder, shared care?”
Very practical questions about everyday life with baby are also at the heart of the couple’s discussions. Some also wonder whether or not to take parental leave.
8) “Do I have to attend the birth at all costs?”
Often, young dads want to be present on D-Day. But, at the same time, they are afraid of not holding up in the labor room. They would like to be able to reassure and help their wives, without disturbing the medical team. But they do not know how they will react to the suffering of their wife. They are afraid of not being useful, even of being for her and the midwives… a burden!
9) “Will I be able to find my place between my partner and my baby?”
They often notice that their companion already seems very close to their baby, so much so that they feel excluded. If in addition she breastfeeds him, they tell themselves that they will have even more difficulty finding their place… They also wonder if the birth of the baby will change their relationship as a couple: will they be loved by their companion ” like before”, after the baby was born?
10) Last but not least, “Will I be a dad up to it?”
Becoming a dad is a great responsibility and future dads are aware of this: this brings up many questions: “Will I be able to raise him, take care of him as well as a mother, change him, give him a bath and a bottle, talk to him, cuddle him, console him, play with him? Will I be able to find a balance between professional life and private life to devote time to him. Will I be able to invest myself in his awakening, in his games, then in his schooling? “
In conclusion, for the past few years we have been witnessing a change in the behavior of future and young dads, who are more involved in pregnancy, and invest a lot in the first months of their child, much more than their fathers and their grandparents. -fathers.
This change corresponds to an evolution of society: dads have realized that if they want to take their rightful place, they can and must do so earlier than a generation or two ago. And the simple fact of asking yourself all these questions is already a way of answering them and getting involved in this beautiful and irreplaceable adventure of expecting a child and becoming… a dad.
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10 Questions All Future Dads Ask (And My Answers)
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